We Fixed the Raptor’s Drake Night - Who’s Got Next? Posted by Lucas G. on 01/13/14 | Filed under Humor, Drake, Sports, Fixed It

Rappers and basketball go together like milk and cookies, Rosa Acosta and stretching or Outkast and pretty much anything. I can't think of any other genre of music that has both given and received so much influence from a sport. You think about all the movies, clothes, shoes, lines, parties, and of course Rap Game NBA articles, it is almost amazing how closely related the two are; I didn't even mention rapper owned NBA teams either.

Well, Drake took it to new heights over the weekend when his hometown Toronto Raptors (who are doing surprisingly well by the way) had "Drake Night" for their game against the Nets; take that Jay! In addition to special OVO-Raptor shirts, which are now being sold for 100-200 bucks on Ebay, Drizzy bobbleheads, sneaker giveaways and Drake also got to announce the starting lineups, and he didn't cry once!

Oh how far he has come since he couldn't get into the Heat locker room. As far as I know, this is the first ever "Rapper Night", and sure the Raptors could have taken things to the next level by pumping "Marvin's Room" during the halftime show and giving everyone a complimentary ex-girlfriend to sit with during the show as "just friends", but hopefully it won't be the last. Here are some rapper nights we would love to see.

Jay Z Night - Brooklyn Nets

Free Giveaway: Pound cake. You even get extra since there is so much cake, cake, cake, cake.
How It All Goes Down: Everyone is so excited for Jay-Z night. I mean the thought of getting to see the Nets play in Basquiat designed jerseys is pure excitement. Throw in one lucky fan winning a Hublot watch and it is just too good to pass up. Unfortunately, tickets cost $1 million each. Still, Jay managed to sell out Barclay's, although it did take Samsung giving away a million tickets to get there. What's that? You don't want to get locked into a 90-year cell phone contract where you will be receiving outdated and inadequate equipment and shoddy coverage just to see a NBA game? Then I guess you don't really want that Blue Ivy bobblehead??

UGK Night - Houston Rockets

Free Giveaway: Complimentary coat of candy paint (color of your choice) to the first 100 entries. everyone else gets swishas and dosha. 
How It All Goes Down: First, fellas this one is for you, because on UGK night, guys get in free and the ladies have to pay. Fair warning, expect play to slow dramatically around the second quarter as all of the player Gatorade, and all beverages at the concession stands, will be replaced with lean. Nobody makes it to halftime, which means we all miss out on the big halftime show; a grits eating contest.

Rick Ross Night - Miami Heat

Free Giveaway: Intersex bras, back scratchers. 
How It All Goes Down: Androgynous sports bras are a big draw, but what people really came for is the IV bags filled with Ranch Dressing; the perfect side dish to the deep fried bacon cheeseburger pizza special. Sure food and libations (don't drink the soda because it might be spiked with molly) are nice, but what people really came for is the basketball...and they won't get much of it. In consideration for people who may not be in peak physical condition, there is a mandatory five minute break every three minutes, and an extended halftime so that each team can go to the Cinnabon across the street. Expect a great time, and an outbreak of adult onset diabetes. 

Kanye West - Chicago Bulls

Free Giveaway: You get to spend the night with the greatest genius to ever live and you want something for free?!?! Kanye is a brand, an icon, and the most important name in sports ever, and you WANT SOMETHING FOR FREE? You think people expected something free from Ghandi?
How It All Goes Down: Everything is going great - children have their College Dropout bears, the ladies love the champagne-infused soda - until Kanye tries to step on the court and play. When Joakim Noah tries to explain that maybe he should play in the paint instead of Kanye because he's one of the NBA's best rebounders and Ye couldn't jump over a Roc chain, Kanye becomes enraged. He grabs the house mic and for the next six hours, he stands at mid court ranting about how many people told him he couldn't play professional sports: "If I can become the greatest musician to ever live I can box out Dwight Howard!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

People try thier best to escape, but Kanye has locked all the doors; three are left dead and four in critical condition.

Wale Night - Washington Wizards

Free Giveaway: Record label deal with MMG.
How It All Goes Down: Nothing special except for an increased security presence. Although only 20 Rapper Nights happen in the NBA that year, Wale Night still doesn't make Complex's "50 Best NBA Rapper Nights of 2014" list.

Dr. Dre Night - Los Angeles Lakers

Coming soon, he just needs to make one more tweak....

Hmmmmm, maybe Rapper Nights aren't such a good idea. Sure, it worked fine for Drake, but as we can see, other rapper themed nights wouldn't turn out so well. I don't even want to think about what would happen on R. Kelly night...