Exclusive: Copy of Police Report From Justin Bieber Egg/Cocaine Raid Posted by Lucas G. on 01/15/14 | Filed under Humor, Justin Bieber

As you probably heard, Biebz (aka pop music's Dennis the Menace) is in a little bit of trouble with Mr. Wilsonnnnnn. Basically the story is this: Justin egged his neighbor's house, because he literally is Dennis The Menace. Well, as you can read here, apparently there were $20,000 worth of damages (I guess the eggs were also grenades or something) and is being considered a felony because that makes total sense. The police thought it was necessary to performer a raid on Justin's mansion, and in the process they found some illicit substances (rumored to be cocaine or Molly).

But don't worry, Beliebers, Lil Za did what any friend of someone famous would do and took the charge. He was all set to get out, until he decided to vandalize the phone in jail and then had his bail upped just a little bit (from 20 grand to $75,000); wonder who was on the other end? Well, there have been a few bad reports and misinformation coming in, so as the most honorable and reputable site on the web, RefinedHype went in search of the truth. Thanks to a few connections (and definitely zero bribes) we got our hands on the actual police report from the raid. Suck it TMZ!

At approximately 9:30 AM on Tuesday, January 14, 2014, officers executed a search on the home of the home belonging to Justin Bieber. The suspect is known to have a violent and dangerous criminal past, violently attacking bystanders by ordering his security guards to violently attack bystanders. As a result, officers were dressed in full swat gear, armed with tear gas, and automatic rifles and two horseback officers were stationed on the exits for support. Upon searching the home, officers found Bieber in his ball pit room clutching a teddy bear. When brought to the room where the illicit substances were found Bieber was cuffed and placed next to the four male acquaintances and 60 topless females. The eggs used in the vicious assaultt were to scrambled to be recovered. After extensive backroom interviews and pictures (for um, the record) were taken, each female was released and free of any charges. The males in question were less than forthcoming and officers had to resort to some unconventional methods of information receiving.

Though exhaustive measures, such as playing "Baby" on repeat, pouring bleach on all of Biebers annoyingly neon clothes, and taking his NBA hat collection (mainly Lakers and Heat hats), the male suspects finally began to share information. One male claims that he wasn't on drugs (tests later confirmed that he is in fact sober...and lame) but was caught trying to flush a bag of pills down the toilet. Unfortunately for him, all of the toilets in the house are just mop buckets so officers easily recovered the pills. Officers also recovered a bag of cocaine, an eighth of weed, and a secret stash of Smirnoff Ice and Mikes Hard under Biebers bed; he later said he was hiding them from his mother. Though the suspects were quick to rat on the drug dealers, they were less inclined to take blame for the drugs. Finally after Justin Bieber flashed what appeared to be a record contract for "Lil Za", Za confessed that the drugs were his. Once Bieber was let out of handcuffs he immediately was given a cookie, some apple juice, and sent him off to bed for a nap; he was later grounded by his parents.

Lil Za, who at first was only identified as "the black guy who obviously has drugs", was taken into custody and charged with possession of a controlled substance, obstruction of justice, giving a false statement and having the worst name in history. He also had an outburst in jail involving the phone. The conversation was recorded. He was talking with Bieber who claimed to have no knowledge of offering a record contract and even asked Za if he could have is Nintendo DS and all of his Pokemon. Bail is currently set at $75,000.

And there you have it, what really happened with during the Bieber egg raid; gripping, thrilling, dangerous, and justice was served. I won't reveal our sources (Pulitzer winning news sources like RefinedHype never do), but let's just say that when this becomes a movie, someone in the L.A. County Sheriff's office is getting a fresh supply of donuts; I'm not saying it is this guy, but it totally is.

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