Fake Bootys are Hip-Hop’s Looming Steroids Scandal Posted by Nathan S. on 01/16/14 | Filed under Top Stories, Girls, Opinion, NSFW

Whether mainstream America wants to admit it or not, hip-hop has set the cultural front the rest of the country tries to catch up to for decades. While the country was once ruled by Beckys, in 2014 we live in the United State of Booty. While once America was fatty-phobic, these days, from rapper videos to whootys, everyone wants that budunkadunk. 

But this also being America, people want that booty now, there's no such thing as too big, and they're willing to do anything to get it. Which leads us to this Vice documentary on the exploding underground, and aboveground, market for booty-enhancements which, at their worst, include injecting potentially fatal and dehibilating chemcials into your posterior. 

On a personal level, this feels like what baseball writers who covered Mark McGwire must have felt like when it was revealed that the man they split all that laudatory ink over turned out to be pumped up with more drugs than a Tijuana stash house. In retrospect of course McGwire was juicing, of fucking course he was. But when you were living in the moment, watching McGwire and Sosa battle through one of the most captivating seasons in baseball history, who wants to think about things like steroids? Fast forward to 2014 though and it's no longer possible to be an intelligent sports fan who's surprised by any of their heroes juicing. 

Similairly, I've spent an absurd amount of my life looking at booty. It's literally absurdly my job. And of course I heard whispers, or just outright yells, that a lot of the mysterious booty on RefinedHype was artificially enhanced. And I mean of fucking course; rationally, of fucking course some of them are. The human body just doesn't come in proportions like this. But who wants to think the realities of booty injections when the entire point of booty is to live in a fantasy world. 

And the overall effect on the game - as much as you can call stripping/"modeling" video vixen-ing a game - is the same as in sports, right? Someone's trying to succeed naturally, but when all the superstars in their field are huge, and those superstars are making huge money, it's only a matter of time before they turn to artifical means too. And while those aformentioned superstars have the money to do it right (cough, cough), others have to turn to things like silicon. In the documentary, one of the strippers claims that 80% of the girls at King of Diamonds have enhanced bootys. 80%! Where have I heard that number before? 

Honestly, if it ever turned out that Rosa Acosta's booty was fake, I'd be devastated. It'd be like finding out one of my sports heroes cheated (which, for the record, totally hasn't happened). Then again, maybe I wouldn't be devastated. Maybe I wouldn't care and I'd continue to watch stretching videos. Or maybe I would care; after all, I actively avoid fake breasts, and fake bootys on a philosophical level seem similiarly unappealing. Or maybe shut the fuck up about philosophical levels.  

While I figure things out, nothing's going to change because, you know, booty. But at the very least I can no longer feign ignorance when those whispers start up around the next superstar model girl; and especially when one of those superstar girls dies from booty-injection complications in five years. Will we someday look back at Maliah the way we look back at Sammy Sosa? Sweet baby jesus I hope not, but.....

(Do I need to say that a documentary on potentially fatal butt injections is NSFW, and not just in a XXX way, but also in a super gross plastic surgery footage way? Well, I just did. You've been warned.)

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