Exclusive: Inside Meek Mill’s Twitter Etiquette Class Posted by Nathan S. on 07/01/13 | Filed under Humor, Meek Mill, MMG

By now the news that Meek Mill has been court-ordered to take Twitter etiquette classes is widespread, but only RefinedHype has obtained transcripts from inside those classes. That's right TMZ, we got you beat on this one. Suck it.

(Inside Twitter etiquette class. Stark room, desks, bright white lights glare.)

Madam Thistle: Class, please, settle down. My name is Madam Thistle, and for the next six weeks I'll be teaching you proper Twitter etiquette. I wasn't born yesterday, I know none of you want to be here. But without my approval, you'll be going to jail, so I suggest you pay attention. Any questions?
Meek Mill: I was hoping you'd look more like Michelle Pfeiffer in 'Dangerous Minds'. Is she available?
MT: "Well, Mr. Mill, I can see you'll be one of my toughest cases. Since you just volunteered, let's start with you. I'll show you a recent Tweet, you tell me what you could do to improve it."
MM: "But....."

(Madam Thistle cuts him off, projects tweet onto blackboard.)

But I gave my 2 second row tickets 2 a chick from my hood I always wanted to hit... #imahitdatnow lol

— Meek Mill (@MeekMill) July 1, 2013

MT"Now, can you tell me what's wrong with this tweet?"
MM: "I should have Instagrammed a pic of the ho too?"
MT: "Not even close. Expecting sexual intercourse in exchange for second row tickets is not something you should be doing, let alone promoting publicly."
MM: "They should have been first row tickets, huh? Well...I couldn't get the first row, Ross reserved two front row seats for himself and a bucket of Wing Stop. What was I supposed to do?
MT: "You're clearly missing the point, let's move on."

She was suppose 2 f#£k me like a star...... Dat p#%sy overrated!

— Meek Mill (@MeekMill) June 30, 2013

MM: "I got this one. 'Overrated' should have a hyphen, like 'over-rated'. It won't happen again."
MT: "Not even close. This might just be one of the most offensive tweets I've ever seen, and the fact that you don't even know why is exactly why you're here."
MM: "What? I don't see how you could have any problems with this. I didn't even spell the shit out. Like, I should have wrote 'Dat P*&%$ overrated'? Then how would people know P*&%$ stood for pussy? You're asking me to do the impossible."
MT: "I'll give you one more try Mr. Mill. Now please, for you own sake, really do try your best."

Make a nigga cum baby don't procrastinate! #clappers

— Meek Mill (@MeekMill) June 25, 2013

MT: "I'm afraid if you can't tell me what's wrong with this tweet, there's no hope for you and I'll have no choice but to recommend jail to the judge. Now, for the last time Mr. Mill, that's wrong with this tweet?"
MM: "To say that I'm objectifying women would be a gross understatement. I haven't turned women into an object, I've turned them purely into a means to accomplish an end, that end being my on shallow, sexual pleasure. That's not objectifying, it's dehumanizing. I enjoy the spoils of patriarchy without any of the responsibility, and if that's going to change, it has to start with me."
MT: "That's...incredible. I'm not quite sure what to say. My apologies Mr. Mill, I clearly underestimated the depths of your intelligence and compassion."
MM: "All good. So...now you suck me off, or what? That's what usually happens in all of the porn I watch about school. Come on, don't procrastinate."
MT: "Not only am I not passing you, but may god have mercy on your soul."

(End scene.)

See Also:  Fails: Meek Mill Attempts To Come To Rick Ross’ Rescue, Basically Sucks At It
See Also:  Fine, Here’s That Cassidy vs. Meek Mill Diss “Raid” (Listen & Download)