Fails of the Week: Biebz Doin It Big, Awkward NBA Photos & More Posted by Lucas Garrison on 10/04/13 | Filed under Humor, Fails of the Week, Fails

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this piece.  For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve mystery booty)

Nathan is busy in Atlanta tossing racks at Magic City, doin’ the dirty bird, and recording podcasts with 3 Stacks, so he handed "FOTW" and "General Awesomeness" to me. Enough talk, let the failing begin.

NBA Media Day: Nothing But Awkward

Being 6’5 and up is pretty cool (or so I would imagine) and being a professional basketball player is even cooler (again, just a guess). So, can anybody explain to me how there were so many awkward, goofy photos from the NBA’s 2013 media day? Didn’t think so. You can find a whole bunch of photos here, but all you really need to see are Sheed’s, Jeremy Lin’s, and everybody’s favorite NBA superstar, Brian Scalabrine.  You would think the NBA would have someone look over these photos and be like “hmmm…maybe we should take one when Brian doesn’t look like he went 5 rounds with Floyd Mayweather and Jeremy Lin and Chandler Parson’s don’t look like they are posing for prom photos." But hey, their loss is our fail.

Never Say Walk: Justin Bieber Doesn’t Walk It Out

I couldn’t decide wether or not this was a "Fail of the Week" or "General Awesomeness". On the one hand, getting your bodyguards to carry you up the Great Wall of China is the ultimate power move, but on the other hand, this is so absurd, and Bieber-esque that it had to be a Fail. How many times in life are you going to be at the fucking Great Wall and you are telling me you simply can’t walk anymore? Shit if I ever get there, you better believe I am savoring every step but I guess when you are the Biebz you ain’t got time for that.

P.S.- this is the first thing that jumped into my head when I saw this.

Jimmy Kimmel Kanye’s The American Public

After getting Kanye’s panties on a bunch last week, Jimmy Kimmel set his trolling sights on the American public. With the government shutdown, it seems like everyone has become a political science expert, even  when they really have no idea what they are talking about. The same can be said about the health care debate. Take these people for example, they decided it would be a good idea to hop on national television to talk about Obamacare vs. The Affordable Care Act (they are the same thing). Honestly, this is so cringeworthy I struggled to get through this. I hate watching people twist in the wind and it is clear none of these people have any idea what the hell they are talking about. Maybe they belong in Congress…

This Week In Randomly Terrible Rap:

Oh, did I say terrible, what I really meant was banger of the century. Young Thug re-invents the game with “Picacho”. Move over Akon and T-Pain, I think we have the next king of the hook. Sure this is horrendously awful, but good luck getting that hook out of your head. I have been screaming “My diamonds they say picacho” all week; you’re welcome.

The Best Of The Rest:
Marching Band's Halftime Show Results In Six-Sousaphone Pileup
R.I.P., Lane Kiffin's Career As USC Head Coach (2010-2013)
Teachers Ban Students from Quoting Geico Hump Day Commercial
Here's The Worst Late Hit You'll See This Year In College Football

See Also:  Fails of the Week: Gucci Mane & Marilyn Manson, The Real World of Bad Rap & More