Fails of the Week: Gucci Mane & Marilyn Manson, The Real World of Bad Rap & More Posted by Nathan S. on 05/31/13 | Filed under Humor, Fails of the Week, Fails

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this piece.

For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve random hot girls) I tackle the worst musical collaboration of all time, the worst rap verse I've heard in a while...basically it's a lot of worsts.

Enjoy...

Prepare for Gucci Manson


Quick, name the collab you'd least like to hear. Gucci Mane and Chief Keef? You're in the ballpark, but keep going down. Gucci Mane and Fred Durst? Oh, you're so fucking close. Think EVEN WORSE.

Yep, that's right, Gucci "Mumbles" Mane and Marilyn "I Haven't Been Relevant Since Nathan S. Was In High School Which, Believe Me, Was A Long Fucking Time Ago" officially have a track together coming out. Here's a quick list of shit I'd rather do than listen to a Gucci Mane and Marilyn Manson song:

* Watch Kesha drink her own pee.
* Dress like Drake.
* Listen to a Gucci Mane and OJ Da Juiceman song.

Believe me, I could keep going. Oh, and did I mention the track's titled "Fancy Bitch"? My recommendation is to start preparing like the apocalypse is coming. Get ready for human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

Meet Your New Worst Rap Verse Ever


My instinct was to stick this in "Best of the Rest" considering Vice already did an in-depth breakdown of the travashamockery that is this "Alone" video, but the rap verse is so bad, so remarkably terrible, I felt like I had no choice but to pile on.

The singer/rapper/breathing fail you're listening to is named Ronnie Radke, Falling In Reverse is his band, and his "rap" verse (from the 0:40 mark on if you're brave enough to actually listen) opens with "White boy on the beat, wearing Gucci sneaks" and then, remarkably, somehow manages to get even worse from there.

In a way I'm not even mad, it's amazing. It takes a bizzaro level of talent to squeeze every possible rap cliche into 16 bars. Hats off to you Mr. Radke, not everyone can be this bad. You're truly making your mark in music history.

The Real Bad Rap World


You know how old I am? I stopped watching "The Real World" right around the time everyone stopped having a real job. But according the publicist who emailed me this week, not only is "Real World" still going, but someone named Marlon (aka Jay Dillinger) is on it and...wait for it, this is going to shock you...he's also trying to make it as a rapper. Because of course he is.

I'm not going to front, there was a part of me who was really hoping this shit would be dope. How great would it be if he completely defied expectations? Instead, he completely met my expectations and turned out to be on the most thoroughly average rappers I've ever heard. I bet when he wrote that "So many bars never losin reception" line he was like, "Oh shit, I'm dope!!!!!!!!"

So how about it Marlon's publicist, is this the kind of coverage you were hoping for in that email?

Do Not Watch This


Tell you what, let's run a little experiment. Trust me, you do not want to watch that video above. Only bad things will happen, I promise you. Maybe you'll enjoy listening to it, but you do now want light to bounce off this video, enter your retina and then be converted into images in your brain.

Now, how many of you just watched? I'll listen for the sound of someone throwing up in their mouth a little bit, that's how I'll know.

In Case You Missed It:

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The Best of the Rest:

Man Sentenced to 50 Years in Jail for Stealing Rack of Ribs
Brawl At Kindergarten Graduation Blamed on Spilled Punch
Entire Bridal Party Falls Into Lake During Wedding Photo Shoot
Listen To Joey Votto Scream "Fuck!" Over And Over
Footage of Chief Keef Getting Chased By The Police
Woman Claims Rihanna’s Lipstick Gave Her Herpes, Sues
Skinny Girl Teaching How To Twerk!