We Fixed Kanye’s “Bound 2” Video, It’s Now a “Top Gun” Remake Posted by Lucas G. on 11/19/13 | Filed under Humor, Videos, Kanye West, Fixed It

As you all sat down to watch "Ellen" yesterday—because no hip-hop head would ever miss and episode of "Ellen" - I bet you were a little surprised to see Kanye on there. Well, not only did he make an appearance, he also premiered the video for "Bound 2". For those keeping score at home, that’s one Kanye premiere for Ellen and zero for RefinedHype, DJBooth, HipHopDX, Complex and 2DopeBoyz; what’s next 2 Chainz on "Dr. Phil?"

Anyhow back to the subject at hand, the video, directed by Nick Knight, who also did the “Black Skinhead” video, is cool (but kinda super cheesy on the low); motorcycles, topless Kim, and some stock landscape footage. You can watch it below, but to see it how it is really meant to be seen you need to go to Kanyewest.com it looks about ten times better.

Now I know Nick Knight is a, you know, “actual” director and photographer, but he really missed a chance to do something special here. Motorcycle sex scenes are cool and everything, but I couldn’t help but he missed so many chances to make this a "Top Gun" spinoff. It’s like he wanted to, with the motorcycle, then got scared and went another route; it felt unfinished and out of order. What's missing? A backstory. Well, the creative department here at RefinedHype (AKA Nathan and I) wondered what the fuck happened to "Bound 1" so, we decided to help a Yeezy out and do it for him. Think of this as "Bound 1" the prequel to the actual "Bound 2" video....

Fade into Kanye rocking a technicolor bomber jacket on perched on a motorcycle. As the sun begins to rise in front of him the beat slowly fades in. When it finally kicks in, Kanye speeds off into the horizon (doing a wheelie), dwarfed by the ever-rising sun (which has North’s face, in it like the sun from the Teletubbies).

The next scene, Kanye arrives at the beach where in the distance he sees Kim walking out of the ocean (in slow mo of course). As he begins to walk over to her, he is hit in the head with a volleyball and turns to see Jimmy Kimmel leaning against the net laughing. With Kim watching he knows he must act. He rips off his Armani tank top and places it next to his leather, metal-plated skirt-kilty-thingy and steps on the court. A heated match ensues. Just before the last serve, Kanye drops the ball and points at Kim—the music cuts out—she runs over and he catches her in his arms (need a body double because no way Kanye can actually catch her right?). He carries her off and places her on the back of the bike and the two ride off.

They arrive at a bar to find the GOOD Music family, singing the hook to "Bound 2". After a long night of ripping Taylor swift, drinking aged Italian wine, served in the hollowed out shells of exotic baby tortoises, and talking about Versace’s fall line of designer jock straps,  Kim, Kanye and his Goose (Big Sean) head for the exit.

Just as the hop on their bikes, they are trailed by three TMZ bikes. They try to evade but is of no use. Then, their bikes transform into jets and the take off into the air. Just when they think they are home free, two TMZ bogeys show up on the radar (projected onto Kim’s bosom). After an epic battle - cut in the “On Sight” instrumental for their dogfight filled with explosions, barrell rolls and high-octane thrills - it finally ends when Big Sean voluntarily takes himself out by swan diving into the TMZ jet.

The music stops and while KimYe descend from the clouds, a single tear falls from Kanye’s face and Kim wipes it away with her French manicured nails. Just before they land, Kanye spots a group of wild horses running the distance. He lands the jet/bike in the center of the horses who keep the vehicle upright and moving as they make love on the back of each and every horse. After hours upon hours of bareback bareback, they hop back on the motorcycle and ride off into the distance...then the "Bound 2" video starts.

Slight addition to "Bound 2": After a brief black screen when "Bound 2" is finished,  we see the fiery wreckage of Sean’s flight. A hand emerges from the wreckage… the end?

Don't worry Kanye, you may have stumbled this time, but I think it's obvious who should be directing your next video - RefinedHype. We'll be waiting for your call.