Fails of the Week: The Harriet Tubman Sextape, Budden’s (Non) “Control” Response & More Posted by Nathan S. on 08/17/13 | Filed under Humor, Fails of the Week, Fails

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this piece.

For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve random hot girls) I tackle Russell Simmon's Harriet Tubman sextape, Drake's beef victory, Budden's "Control" flop and more.

Enjoy...

Things At All Def Digital Are Fantastic!


Remember when I asked what the fuck a "YouTube" focused label was after Russell Simmons launched All Def Digital? Well now we have our answer. A "YouTube" focused label looks a lot like a painfully terrible and deeply offensive Harriet Tubman sex tape video.

Really it's the "South Park" principle. The more offensive the material, the more funny it has to be. So when you're doing something that's incredibly offensive, and not at all funny...prepared for people to hate you. And yes Russell Simmons issued an apology, but he did it when RTing everyone who supported him, which is kind of like apologizing to your girlfriend for fucking her sister...while fucking her other sister.

Really? In the course of writing, filming, editing and posting this no one said, "You know what guys, maybe this isn't the best idea." Really?

Drake Totally Won that Beef Everyone Forgot About


While we still have a better chance of Rick Ross completing a triathlon than Drake responding to Kendrick, this week Aubrey did expand on his beef with Common that no one took seriously during a XXL interview :

"Obviously, the whole tension with that whole camp has been brewing for a long time, and that was the first time someone had called me out personally. I reacted in a very poised way. First of all, I made sure it would run in the club because that’s more painful than anything...if it happens again, not that I want it, not that I welcome it, but I’m ready. I really enjoy writing bars, man. I’m not nervous about anybody saying anything to me. For [Common] to delve into my mom and my dad’s a bitch and all that, you’re just reaching for impact moments but the bars aren’t really good so it didn’t hit me. I never sat back and analyzed that either. I only heard it once, and thought, “I think I came away with the W on that one.”

He brings up a question, did he win that one? Although, winning that "battle" is like winning an award for being the world's tallest midget. That shit wasn't even Arby's beef, it was more like that dried out beef they serve at diners at 3 in the morning. So sure Drake, fine, you got the W on that one. A tiny, tiny, W.

Enjoy, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to pretending this never happened.

Slow Clap for Joe Budden


Quick quiz. What's the only thing worse than dropping a cringe-worthy "Control" response? How about tweeting "@kendricklamar u my nigga 4 life bro…. But u gon learn today", then waiting two days, then having people tweet they heard your response and Kendrick should be scared, then releasing it, then immediately deleting the song and your original "gon learn today" tweet, then tweeting out some lyrics instead.

OH SHIT KENDRICK? WHO'S THE KING OF NY NOW! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, JOE BUDDEN! YOU JUST GOT MURDERED SUB TWEETED AT K-DOT, WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

(Word to TSS for the spot.)

This Week in Atrocious YouTube Rap


The "run" at 2:59 might just be the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Ever. Of all-time. Ever.

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