Can 2 Chainz Really Ball? A Detailed Investigation Posted by Nathan S. on 08/15/13 | Filed under Humor, Sports, 2 Chainz

Obsessively detailed break downs of rapper's basketball skills and parallels, have been a staple of RefinedHype ever since our epic "Is Mikkey Halsted Really the Best Baller in the Entertainment Industry?" post.

So while some may watch 2 Chainz' new...um...motivational video and think to themselves, why did I watch that 2 Chainz motivational video, I thought to myself, sweet baby jesus, this is an excellent chance to really evaluate Tity Boi's skills on the court. S0 that's exactly what I did.

Feel free to mute while watching, the narration only distracts from truly watching his game.



0:01 Picks up dribble too easily, especially on the perimeter. That's an egregious travel, even by tour parking lot basketball standards.

0:07 Decent rebounder, needs to attack rebounds more strongly, secure ball.

0:24 Strong right hand drive, good finish on the move. Needs to attack basket more against shorter defenders.

0:31 Another very similar right hand drive, begin to worry about his ability to go left. Another travel after the pump fake, don't get to see result of shot, I assume a miss.

0:43 No elevation on jump shot, good follow through with the wrist. Has mid-range jumper.

0:55 Another right hand drive, elite defenders will force him left. Could be a serious liability.

0:58 Difficult shot, good make. Jump shot may be his strength, and with his height should be able to get shots off consistently and easily. Rap Game Dirk Nowitzki?

1:09 Is he having arm seizures? Doing an impression of a wounded bird? Very...searching for word....floppy post game. Now that I've noticed the floppy arm post moves, I can't stop watching them. Oddly hypnotizing effect - maybe defenders are similarly hypnotized?

1:36 Turn up also shows serious lack of elevation. Note to self, make sure to measure CHainz' vertical in any try out. I think it may be shockingly low.

1:39 Looks worryingly winded for a relatively light pick up game. Fitness level may be an issue.

1:42 Shockingly bad post game for someone so tall. Needs to spend a summer with Hakeem, maybe two.

1:48 More impressive outside shooting, squares up to the basket well. How far back does his range extend?

1:53 Needs to play much closer to the shooter on defense. Perhaps worried about ball handlers driving by him due to lack of quickness?

2:02 Wait...who is this dude in the black? The man's playing like the 2 Chainz entourage version of Rajon Rondo. Can we get some more film on this dude please?

2:13 Chainz can't miss from mid-range. THE MAN CAN'T MISS!

2:20 Chainz doesn't need your pick, clear out, he's going to take Entourage Rajon Rondo solo....proceeds to kind of slowly spin in circles, touch his shoe for no apparent reason. Clearly should have taken the pick. Entourage Rajon Rondo's stock continues to rise.

2:45 Entourage Rondo wisely forces him left, all Chainz can do is pass. I'm ready to draft Entourage Rondo right now, that's my number one pick. Who is this guy?

3:00 Fatigue has become a serious factor.

3:19 Only a surprise visit from T.I. (who seems to be wearing shorts with...airbrushed moons on them?) saves Chainz from having to inbounds the ball to Entourage Rondo. Entourage Rondo unphazed by TIP, retains complete focus on victory. I'm telling you, that's my man right there.

4:22 Serious question, who wins in a game of one-on-one, 2 Chainz or Kobe Bryant with a torn Achilles. Keep in mind, Kobe's rehab is apparently going very well, and we've now seen enough game film of 2 Chainz to know his weaknesses.

4:47 Beginning of the 2 CHainz dunk montage that doesn't actually include any dunking. We know he tries some version of the Dr. J cradle and the Isiah Rider behind the back, but only see some take of the cradle get thrown down. So proof the man can actually dunk, but it doesn't change my mind about his vertical.

Finals Analysis: Excellent mid-range game, decent handle, average passing ability. Needs to develop a post game and left hand (which he says he's working on). Could thrive as a spot up shooter playing off a slash and kick out guard (like, you know, either Rondo or Entourage Rondo). Best case scenario, Rap Game Mike Miller.

(I can neither confirm nor deny reports that I also watched footage of his high school career, and this game of 21 involving Waka, French Montana, Chainz and Cole, in which frankly Chainz looks horrible and we get a good sense of Jermaine's abilities.)

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