Drake’s “All Me” features 2 Chainz, Big Sean & RAAAAAAAANDY!, Is (Maybe) Terrible Posted by Nathan S. on 08/01/13 | Filed under Downloads, Drake, 2 Chainz, Big Sean

I'm not going to front. It's nearly midnight, I still have a shit ton of "work" to do and I've been listening to "Luchini" on repeat for a solid hour and feeling great. So the last thing I want to do is write about Drake's new anthem, "All Me". But this motherfucker went ahead and dropped the song anyway, and since, like it or not, this kid is now one of the most famous rappers on the planet, fuck it, fine, let's do this. Just know that I'm obviously writing this under duress and will be accordingly grumpy about it:

Would You Like An Anthem? https://t.co/GxOS2Q8CgJ

— Drizzy (@Drake) August 1, 2013

In fact, I'm so bitter about writing this, I'm not even going to bother coming up with multiple paragraphs that weight out different points and come to some sort of logical conclusion. Instead, you're getting a stream of consciousness, real-time review.

* I'll admit, the RAAAAANDY sample is fucking fantastic.
* Drake singing about having money and whatnot, sounding very Drake-ish.
* 2 Chainz' dick is so hard it sets off metal detectors, which sounds like the worst day ever for a TSA agent.
* Remind me to do the math on Drake fucking his babysitter. He's also apparently the light skinned Keith Sweat, shout out to Cottonelle.
* Big Sean's verse is turrible, although he's right, he is fucking that girl from "Glee".

There you have it, the world's least objective review of Drake's "All Me". Maybe tomorrow I'll come back, listen and have something (or anything) more intelligent to say, but in the meantime this is the best you're getting out of me. Sometime it be like that.

Enjoy...

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