Weekly Re-Up: Bieber Gets Sassy, Jay Z Catfishes Us & More Posted by Lucas G. on 03/14/14 | Filed under Top Stories, Weekly Re-Up, General Awesomeness, Fails Of the Week

Listen, it's Friday, we get it. Nobody really wants to do anything that involves using your brain. So the new "Weekly Re-Up" will provide you with both the biggest "Fails" and the most awesome "General Awesomeness", as well as some other must see shit from the week, and of course some boobs. We will also be including a "Weekend Rewind" selection to give you something to listen to this weekend. It's a whole lot of everything.

Now let's get started...

General Awesomeness:

Obama Between Two Ferns

No you aren't seeing things. That is actually one of the most powerful men in the world being by this guy. In a million years, I never would have imagined Between Two Ferns as the place to go for presidential interviews. While CNN and Fox are equally laughable (in a different way) I still never thought Zach Galifianakis and Obama would be in the same room; two very unlikely allies. I would have loved to seen what happened when these two met; like what would they even talk about? Obama's thoughts on the conflict in Russia? Or maybe they talked about that time Galifianakis recorded a video for Can't Tell Me Nothing. Look, I get it's more or less a shameless commercial to get young people to sign up for healthcare (which you should do anyway) but it's pretty cool the fucking president of the United States is willing to show a different approach and not take things too seriously all the time. I don't think these interviews should be a regular thing--we certainly don't need Galifianakis on 60 Minutes-- but as a one time thing to get people ty sign up for healthcare I'm totally fine with it. It's pretty smart too, the demographic he wants to reach wont respond to TV ads or longwinded reports, but they will definitely watch Alan from The Hangover talk to the president. I bet this is the first time a president has been in an interview where the word "Doritos" was said. 

Beliebe Dat

I know some of you will hate this because all y'all are be-doubters, but if his answers didn't make you laugh, you are letting your hate cloud your judgment. First off, this isn't a deposition of a case for some young fan who got crushed by his bodyguard, this is a TMZ lawyer. There aren't a lot of things more hateable than Bieber but TMZ is certainly one of them. They make their living harassing and stalking famous people so why should Bieber treat them with any respect. Plus, his answers are fucking hilarious; he is just being a snarky dickhead the whole time and I love it. Basically, it is a bunch of douchebags in a room all competing to be the biggest douchebag there; of course Bieber is going to win. I love the part where the guy has him watch the clip of his bouncer beating somebody up and proceeds to harp on the fact that the guy called it a film. It's like when your friend says something just a little bit wrong and you start ragging on 'em for it; only this wasn't his friend it was some lawyer. And that wink at the end. I don't know why but I just fucking loved this. Even in a legal deposition Bieber still acts like a dick, you almost have to respect it. I know he is such a little shit, but hasn't it reached that point where we can like him for it? No? Well I do anyway. Even if you hate Bieber you'll find some awesomeness in how touchy he gets when asked about Selena Gomez, so there is truly something for everybody here. As a bonus, for all you True Detective fans, I give you Bieber being interviewed by Cole.

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Shaq In World's Largest Motion Capture Suit
Aerris Smith's Postgame Interview Belongs In An Inspiring Sports Movie

In Case You Missed It:
Lucas & Nathan Debate Skrillex ft. Chance the Rapper’s “Coast is Clear”
Corporate America (& White People) Love Trap Music, Here’s Why

Fails Of The Week:

Shank-tified

This is one that could really go either way for me. On the one hand, this kid puts all he has into it, and I kind of respect him for it, but on the other, he is just so fucking ridiculous, not to mention he can't rap worth a damn. Maybe if he has just mouthed the words I would have been less likely to call it a fail, but unfortunately he does and even though I didn't think it was possible, he sounds worse than Big Sean; props on the self-scensorship though. It's just too much awkward white boy for me to handle. Look, I'm not saying I don't go nuts in the car, when that song comes on, but I certainly don't record it and put it on the internet; especially when I have the lavishness of a drag queen choir lead by Rupal covered in glitter. It's also pretty failworthy that he already has the whole song memorized enough to do this whole thing. It's a good song, but not the kind you spend two weeks memorizing. A for effort C for execution and F minus for this ever actually taking place. I want to like him so much, but I just can't watch this without cringing so it's a fail for me.

P.S.-For what it's worth, Rick Ross took time out of eating 65 eclairs gave him props.

Jay Z Catfishes Us

Oh awesome! Jay Z and Daft Punk have a new-old (unreleased) song produced by Kanye?! Yeah, except no. As awesome as a Jay Z, Daft Punk, and Yeezy collab would be, this just isn't what you think it is. Nobody wants it to exist more than me, but I'm not going to pretend like this is it, and even if it was, it still kind of sucks ass. I'll admit it, this go time at first. I saw it and immediately shot it over to Nathan who basically said it was all bullshit; it was basically like him telling me there is no Santa. Turns out he wasn't the only one who saw through the facade. This Noisey, piece perfectly pinpoints why this is pure and udder horseshit

First, this isn't an original Daft Punk instrumental; that keyboard line is a loop from the song "Son of Flynn" off of Daft Punk's score for Tron: Legacy. From there, literally anyone—like, even me in GarageBand—could loop that, throw some drums in there, get a vocoder plugin and sing "computeriiiiiized" into it.

From there, let's analyze Jay Z's lyrics, which include the line, "I got an iTouch but I can't feel," and also a reference to Hov Jobs' BlackBerry. Judging from the dated technology iHova is talking about on here, this is probably old as fuck. A google search for the lyrics reveals they are indeed previously-unreleased Jay lyrics, but there's no guarantee Jay's words were meant to appear over this beat, or who even made the beat. If this is indeed a Kanye production, the Daft Punk sample would place it from around the time he was making Graduation and Jay was making The Blueprint 3, when both were flirting with electronic-leaning production: Kanye of course rapped over Daft Punk for "Stronger," and Swizz Beatz flipped Justice's "D.A.N.C.E." for "On to the Next One" (watch the sample get flipped live here).

I think the worst part about all of this is people acting like this song is really good. It's just not; in fact, it's pretty annoying.  People see Daft Punk and Jay Z and deem it great without really listening. There is no way in hell that Kanye would just let this kind of shit slide. When it comes to the internet, it i often pretty easy to see what fake and what's not, but with this, it's like people wanted it to be real so bad that they can't see it is some poorly assembled hodge-podge by some random guy who lives in his parents basement. When a Daft Punk/Jay/Kanye collab happens it will be a revelation, but this folks isn't it. 

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Fans Sue Arena After Video Reveals Large And Small Beers Are Same Size

Weekend Soundtrack:

Look, I love Channel Orange--it's one of my all-time faovrites-- but I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't dying for something new from Frank. Though it's not a single form his new album or a "real" Frank cut, but it still something. Also, it's fucking amazing so who am I to complain. Seriously, this is my favorite track of 2014 and it's perfect for the new found warm weather. It's not even summer yet and this is already the perfect summer song; catchy, unique, smooth, but most of all it's fun. Normally I'll pick an album or something, but this weekend it's all about "Hero"

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Booty Of The Week:
A little sibling rivalry on this week's Booty of the week. Now I know sibling and booty aren't two words that go together but when the siblings are Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner, booty is pretty much the only word you can use. Here they are having a bikini-off. The Winner? Us.