From Bieber to Lupe, The First Annual Stan Power Rankings Posted by Nathan S. on 10/15/13 | Filed under Opinion, Rankings

It's now been well over a decade since Eminem first really broke down the Stan phenomenon,  but in that time Stanning has absolutely exploded thanks to the internet and social media. As evidenced in the video, ten years ago you'd be able to easily identify a stan because they did something as time consuming as write an artist a letter? Now, you can send 47 tweets to @Eminem with the exact same amount of energy. It's also given me a pretty direct way to measure stan-dom. If I write something critical about an artist and I'm not flooded with comments and tweets telling me I'm an idiot within ten minutes, I know that artist doesn't really have any Stans. So who better than yours truly to put together The First Annual Stan Power Rankings*? 

Before we go any further, let me make sure we're operaintg off the same definition of a stan. Not all fans, even hardcore fans, are Stans. Stans not only believe that their favorite artist is infalliable/the greatest, they feel a direct, personal and intensely powerful connection to that artist, even though that artist has absolutely no idea who they are. (Again, especially in the Twitter age artists encourage this kind of delusional "relationship" between them and their fans. Big Ghost breaks down the phenomenon brilliantly in his internet famous "grain of rice" analogy.)

Case in point, I think Pusha T is an incredibly dope rapper, I'd have to force myself to not completely lose my shit if I ever talked to him, but I don't get personally angry when someone I don't know on the internet says he's wack. I'm  fan, not a Stan. So if you're a fan of one of these artists and lose your shit on me despite this disclaimer, then congratulations, you just proved you're actually  Stan.

So without further ado, in order of most Stan-ish to least, here are the top five Stan-bases. 

Holy...sweet...baby...jesus. If you're looking to spend the rest of your life arguing on the internet, just start fucking with #TeamBreezy online and see what happens.

Brown stans are really caught in a vicious cycle where the media really does jump on every Chris Brown slip up because his name draws big ratings, which they then use as justification to dismiss legitimate criticism of Brown. Am I really a bully because I said maybe telling someone you're going to shit in their retina isn't the classiest move? I am? Ok, great then, I'm glad we had this talk. 

I'm not going to lie, I'm hesitant to put Chief Keef in here. What I might think of as "stanning" could also be described as "young black people living in one of the most violent cities in America relating to Keef".

But if the definition of a Stan is someone who has invested way too much of their personal life in someone they don't actually know, well then I think that video above is all the proof you'll ever need that Sosa has himself a legion of stans. Replace Eminem and Devon Sawa (who played Stan) with Chief Keef and that kid above and you've essentially got the exact same video.  

Lupe stans may not be nearly as prone to internet violence as some other stans mentioned here, but what they lack in intensity they make up for in the unshakable belief that Mr. Fiasco is a misunderstood genius at all times, even when he's clearly just saying words that are words because words. And making his Twitter private just further drove home the "Fiasco against the world" mentality that Stans have gorged on like RIck Ross at a taco truck. 

Don't believe me? Here's actual testimony from a Lupe stan. It's the lengths they'll go to in order to defend Mr. Fiasco that really earned them a spot this high in the rankings. I think this says it all right here: 

5. 50 Cent Stans

As always, the last spot is the hardest to pick. For a while I was going to go with J. Cole stans at this spot. They're usually not nearly as insane and emotional as the other stans here, but I'm constantly surprised about how many people rush to Cole's defense. I could write a mathematically factual statement like "Drake is more popular than J. Cole" and spend the next hour debating Cole stans about it. 

But...ultimately I had to go with a bit of a dark horse pick here, 50 Cent fans. I know what you're thinking, how could 50 make this list when he hasn't dropped a relevant album in years? That's exactly my point. By any objective measure Fiddy is nowhere near the top of rap as an artist, so how insane are the people who still argue that he is? That was a rhetorical question, very insane. 

A Final Note, Fans Who Are Surpisingly Non-Stanish: Ironically, despite the fact that he invented Stan-ing, I don't think Eminem stans are anywhere near this list. For the most part he's still one of the best rappers alive, and people largely just agree on that fact. Also, I had someone bring up Jay Electronica stans when I was coming up with this idea, but I think even the most hardcore Elec stans agree his album isn't coming anytime soon, which is a pretty reasonable, non-Stan position to take. 

* I wrote "annual" because it sounded good, but come on, I don't literally mean once a year. I might never do this again, I might do it again in a month.