Throw a Glow Stick at Lupe Fiasco & He’ll Totally Threaten to F**k You Up Posted by Nathan S. on 04/08/13 | Filed under Top Stories, Humor, Opinion, Lupe Fiasco

Let this be a lesson to all you Lupe Fiasco fans out there. If you dare throw a glow stick at him during a concert, the man will stop the show to issue some absolutely hilarious threats. And I quote:

“Listen. Hold on, y’all. Hold on. Two seconds and we’ll get back to the show. Listen, I know you a jerk…and that’s cool. I know that you came here and ya thought, ‘hey, I’ma get a little shine. I’ma throw some sh*t at Lupe and hit him in the face.’ But! Let me remind you of something. You see this waist? This waist right here? Yeah, this waist right here? There used to be four black belts around this waist.

"So listen! Everybody that wanna throw some sh*t, kindly step over to the side of the stage and I’ll give you five good minutes of fame. And then I’ll take whatever I’ll make from this show to make sure to bail your broken up ass outta jail. In the immortal words of Jay-Z, ‘it ain’t a movie, dog! Don’t get f*cked up!’”

Sweet baby jesus that's just a fantastic couple paragraphs.

For the record, in no way do I condone throwing shit at rappers on stage. That's the type of shit only narcissistic assholes do; oh, fantastic, now 5,000 people can't watch a show they paid for because your dumb ass decided that glow stick would make a nice projectile.

And that's why I fully support any rappers' right to walk out into the crowd and hand out a beating (*insert the Akon "unless the kid's like 12 years old" clause here*). So Lupe should have stopped the show, but in the immortal words of legendary gangster Usher, don't talk about it, be about it.

Lupe's threat to go bust out some sweet roundhouse kicks is the rap show equivalent of a frat house fight when the dude waits until there are enough people around to hold him back before shouting, "hold me back!!!" If you're really about that life you go A$AP Mob on 'em.


(Action at the 2:20 mark)

And of course the A$AP shit is nothing compared to the greatest, and perhaps unlikeliest, "rapper" vs. fan beatdown of all-time. Of course I'm talking about Pitbull's legendary "I'll Knock This Dude Out in Less That 4 Bars" performance of '09.


(Action at the 1:00 mark.)

And perhaps the closest we've ever come to seeing a rapper kill a fan is Sean Price's missed roundhouse right during a concert in Chile. If he had connected "Mic Tyson" would have been pushed back a couple more years while the manslaughter trail went on.


(Action pretty much immediately)

Crucially, unlike Lupe taking a glow stick to the dome, in both the Pitbull and Sean Price incidents the fan actually ran onstage, and I guess if Lupe really is heavy in the martial arts world, he's supposed to only use the deadly weapons that are his lightning fast kicks in self-defense (or at least that's what "Karate Kid" taught me).

What would Lupe do in a similar situation? Would we actually get to see him bust out some of those legendary Wushu skills? I don't want to say that I hope someday we get to find out, but....yeah, honestly, I really fucking hope someday we get to find out. The rap interwebs would explode if footage of Lupe Chuck Norris-ing a fan ever came out.

Sigh, a man can only dream. In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to settle for "You see this waist?" as the latest addition to the Unintentionally Hilarious Rap Quotes Hall of Fame. So, you know, we've got that going for us.

UPDATE from RefinedHype Nation:

@refinedhype Nathan, you missed this. youtube.com/watch?v=_HsnuC…

— Daniel Halioua (@dhalioua) April 8, 2013

See Also:  Lupe Fiasco Pays Tribute To Jonylah Watkins On The Moving “Jonylah Forever” (Listen)
See Also:  In Today’s Edition Of Shocking, But Not So Shocking News: Lupe Pulls The Plug On “Food & Liquor II”