Fails of the Week: Kate Upton Twitter Dumps Diddy, Fox News Raps & More Posted by Nathan S. on 04/12/13 | Filed under Top Stories, Fails of the Week, Humor

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this piece.

For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve random hot girls) I tackle Fox News' rap response to Jay-Z, that time Kate Upton (kind of, probably didn't) break up with Diddy via Twitter and more.

Enjoy...

Totally Not_Racist Fox Reporter "Raps"


While the White House was busy denying that Obama and Jay-Z discussed Hova's trip to Cuba, the good folks over at Fox News were busy preparing a response in the form of a "rap".

You know what's weird to me - everyone who does a terrible rap impression does it in the exact same style, a style that seems like it's based on (atrocious versions of) rhyme styles circa Run DMC. Have we figured out why that is? Is there some racist, terrible rap impression blueprint they're all following.

More importantly, we now have Jay-Z vs. Fox News rap beef. Only DJ Clue can squash this!!!!!!!

That One Time Diddy Almost Maybe Probably Didn't F**K Kate Upton


It's been a roller coaster of a ride for Diddy. Or, to be more accurate, nothing's changed for Diddy. The roller coaster ride's consisted entirely of my opinion of him.

For a minute there it seriously looked like he was dating Kate Upton, which frankly would have put him in the top ten Guys Who Have Dated the Hottest Women Hall of Fame. Come on, if he had conjugal relations with Jennifer Lopez, Cassie AND Kate Upton? Goddamn, now that's a resume.

But then this happened:

Really??? Not at all true..“@thecut: .@kateupton and @iamdiddy seen sucking face and dining out!"

— Kate Upton (@KateUpton) April 10, 2013

Ouch. So either Diddy and Kate Upton were "sucking face", then when it got out Upton freaked and indirectly broke it off with Mr. Combs via Twitter. Or the media were completely wrong (shocking). Either way, Diddy went from "definitely fucking Kate Upton" to "definitely not fucking Kate Upton" in a matter of minutes, and that's got to hurt.

Meet the World's Biggest (Instagram) D-Bag


I think we can all agree that Lavish P (aka some rich kid from the Bay Area)'s Instagram is the probably the d-baggiest Instagram in the history of Instagram, which is really saying something. But beyond just generally being a dick - seriously, check out his Instagram description - he's also effectively announced to the world "If you ever see me in public, you should definitely rob me, because I've probably got at least $10K in cash in my pockets." Shit, even I want to rob the kid.

If only I could think of an appropriate hip-hop reference.

So Close....


How do you spend hours setting up an elaborate candy-dominos creation, and then fail to check if the final piece will work? This is how...

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