Fails of the Week: Don’t Talk to Kanye, #YOLO Goes to College & More Posted by Nathan S. on 07/12/13 | Filed under Humor, Fails of the Week, Fails

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this piece.

For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve random hot girls) I tackle Kanye's new paparazzi meltdown, when YOLO goes to college and more.

Enjoy...

Kanye Getting Crazier By the Minute


Clearly still experiencing the serious effects of PTWISCD (Post Traumatic Walking Into a Sign on Camera Disorder), Kanye seized getting harassed by TMZ at LAX as an opportunity to add yet another classic insane Yeezy quote to his ever-growing catalog: "Tell everybody, never talk. To anyone. That anyone knows. Don’t talk to themselves. Don’t talk ever again."

God that was fantastic - it was essentially a real life version of "you shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" Frankly I couldn't be more excited to see where we go from here. Considering Kanye's obsessed with constantly topping himself, it's now only a matter of time before Ye gives us, "Tell everybody, don't look. At anyone. Anyone who has ever looked at someone, don't look at them. Ever. If you look at someone, I want you to go home, look at your family, and then murder all of them. NO LOOKING!!!

#YOLO 101


Because apparently one of the august institutions of American education is so desperate for students they're hitting up Drake fan sits, this week it was revealed that Tufts University college application question centered around...you guessed it... #YOLO.

"The ancient Romans started it when they coined the phrase "Carpe diem." Jonathan Larson proclaimed "No day but today!" and most recently, Drake explained You Only Live Once (YOLO). Have you ever seized the day? Lived like there was no tomorrow? Or perhaps you plan to shout YOLO while jumping into something in the future. What does #YOLO mean to you?"

You can't make this shit up. Well, since I'm here to help, if there are any high school students struggling to figure out their YOLO college application essay, here's a good place to start:

"For my 18th birthday my uncle took me to Vegas for a bender. Sure I was "underage", but I've been drinking heavily since I was 8-years-old, so it really wasn't a big deal. Still, I'll admit things got a little out of control when I found myself in the middle of the desert, shivering from meth withdrawal, putting the finishing touches on a grave for a hooker that had accidentally overdosed. Sure, I could have let that weight on my conscience, maybe even turned myself into the police, but then I wouldn't have the chance to attend a fine college like Tufts. #YOLO"

"SharkNado" Warning


Why is "SharkNado" so fantstical? Because it rides the line between "General Awesomeness or Fail" as well as the line's ever been ridden. Sure, homeboy could have just stepped aside and the shark would have missed everyone, then kill it with a chainsaw. But he's a real man, and real men dive headfirst into a sharks mouth, provided they have a chainsaw.

The New Worst Video of All-Time


Listen, before you press play, I feel obligated to warn you. This isn't one of those videos that's so bad it's good. It's not hilariously bad, it's not the kind of thing you're going to share with friends like, "Look at this shit." It's just straight up one of the worst pieces of music I've ever heard. And by "music", I mean the sound of a puppy being light on fire. Enjoy!

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