Fails of the Week: Fat Guy Who Yells (Didn’t) Make “Yeezus”, Aubrey “TJ Mackey” Graham & More Posted by Nathan S. on 06/14/13 | Filed under Humor, Fails of the Week, Fails

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this piece.

For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve random hot girls) I tackle The Fat Guy Who Yells' non-contributions to hip-hop, Drake's endorsement deal with FILA and more.

Enjoy...

The Fat Guy Who Yells Basically Made "Yeezus"

The "what exactly does DJ Khaled The Fat Guy Who Yells do?" question has been unanswered for years now, which is exactly why I started calling him The Fat Guy Who Yells. But now, thankfully, we Now have our answer, at least when it comes to his contributions to Kanye's "Yeezus". For those of you who don't speak The Fat Guy Who Yells, allow me to translate:

"I got in the studio with Ye and played him a bunch of beats. He didn't use any of them." And..scene.

Man, The Fat Guy Who Yells' contributions to hip-hop are endless, is there anything he can't do. By the way though, the real gem here is the last sentence: "Sometimes you don't need a traditional single and video to promote your album," says the guy who completely and totally relies on traditional singles and videos.

No New Friends...Unless They're Friends With Endorsement Deals


If you know anything about Drake, you know that he's a hardcore soccer fan he had an indoor soccer field in that one video one time. But that didn't stop him from cashing the FIFA endorsement check, which if nothing else proves that Drake without a beat behind him is basically a motivational speaker. Put him in front of a room full of middle age dudes and I guarantee he'd transform into TJ Mackey.

For the record, I was going to write a fake Drake endorsement pitch, then I saw that Luke Winkie beat me to it. Props to him, that shit's pretty funny.

Lil B Isn't Literally Homosexual


I know no one epitomizes the "wait, is he joking or serious?" thing more than Lil B, so take this with a Lil B sized grain of salt, but ok, fine, I'll admit he sucked me into writing about him with this quote. Remember when he had that "I'm Gay" album? No? Trust me, it happened. But here's what he had to say about it in a recent interview:

"I titled the mixtape I’m Gay and it went against everything. I just put it out there and I did that myself to help the world. I can go to sleep every day knowing I’ve done stuff that nobody else has done. I changed rap. I changed Rap music. America after Lil B will be a great place.”

But wait Lil B, didn't you get scared and add a "(I'm Happy)" to the end of the title?

"Shout out to everyone who said I copped out by putting ‘I’m Happy’ under ‘I’m Gay,’ but that was my reasoning. How can I cop out when in my head, I had a plan to do that? Like, I’m not literally a homosexual, but I’m happy.”

That shit alone makes me want to start a Interview Quotes That Make No Fucking Sense series. God bless the Based God

Necessity For Money!


This has nothing to do with hip-hop, but it was just too fantastically terrible to pass up. Now your average person on the interwebs would say something like, "THIS IS THE GREATEST BAD DUB VIDEO EVER," but there's no way I know enough about bad dubs to say anything that definitive. Still though....this might just be the greatest bad dub ever.

At the very least can we get a rapper to sample this shit? Come on rappers, you can either use the same "Scarface" quotes everyone else is, or you can break some ground and kick off your new street anthem with "I need some money...immediately". Go ahead, that one's my gift to you, free of charge.

In Case You Missed It:

To Twerk Or Not To Twerk: The (Not So) Official Can Miley Cyrus Twerk Debate (Video)
You Just Got Served, the Ciara Performance Edition (Video)
2 Chainz (Allegedly) Arrested With Marijuana & Promethazine At LAX
Living Rap Trivia Question J-Kwon Drops Pusha-T & Odd Future Diss Track
Video Of Attempted 2 Chainz Robbery Surfaces

The Best of the Rest:

Chad Johnson Is Going To Jail Because He Slapped His Lawyer's Ass
Here Are Highlights of Tila Tequila's Acting in Masterminds
Your New Worst Person Ever
Amanda Bynes Apologizes To Drake
Kid Trying to Jump Over Car Fails, Then Succeeds, But Fails
Mexican-American boy's national anthem sparks racist comments
Canadians Drive Jeep Into Above Ground Pool
Guy Sends Woman Dick Pic, Woman Sends It to His Mom