The Sun is Cold, Water is Dry & 2 Chainz is the Songwriter of the Year Posted by Lucas Garrison on 06/28/13 | Filed under Humor, 2 Chainz

Every year, while you suckers are tuned into the Oscars, I like to sit back and check out what really matters, the Razzie Awards. For those not hip to the game, the Razzies are awards given to the worst movies of the year. I am starting to think that the The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) Awards are music’s version of the Razzie’s how else could you explain how 2 Chainz won the songwriter of the year award last night? In celebration of Chainz’ triumphant victory, lets take a look at some of the excellent displays of penmanship he has given us.

Yeah my name is 2 Chainz/I'm about to put on two more - “GasoLean”
DAMNNNNNNNN, I didn’t think he was gonna go there, but he did anyway! 4 Chainz?? Mind blown!



Versace, cheese on my broccoli - Wut We Doin’-
This is Chainz 101 take something fancy sounding, than just say something after it; literally anything. If you really want to get crazy, add another line after that describes the subject of the last line. For this one, examples like “that s***t is organic” or “it makes a good soup” are appropriate fillers.

Keep it on the low maine/ all we eat is lo mein - Boo
Most rappers (hopefully) have a rhyming dictionary, but all Chainzy needs is a homonym dictionary. This is where 2 Chainz gets deep. While most emcees are stuck in that think they call a rhyme scheme, Ty just makes sure the words are spelled differently but sound the same. “My accountants name is Barry/ pick your girl like a berry”, boom. It’s that simple.

With a n***a like me Im killing this beat. Skeet skeet skeet skeet, skeet on my sheets - Like Me
Yeesh, I can’t even pretend like this is good. In addition to having some serious subject, 3rd/1st person issues on the first half or the line, five of the eight words in the second half are skeet. Someone should make a game, Chappelle’s show quote or 2 Chainz line, because this sounds straight out of a skit.

When we had sex I was in a Mercedes and I ain't crazy, but if that's my baby. Then we gonna have to name the little baby Mercedes - Spend it (Remix)
Still better than North West…

She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty - Birthday Song

You can’t talk about his best lines without mentioning this gem. It is perhaps the best of the best from Chainz. It doesn’t need commentary, its too perfect. It i so bad its almost genius… almost.

It should be said that ASCAP’s choice for songwriter of the year is not really about song writing. It is more based on who has had the most hits and most songs on the radio. To his credit, 2 Chainz knows how to make a popular song. It makes sense that he would get the award, since he is literally everywhere all of the time, but the ASCAP might want to rethink their award title; for some reason, I don’t think of 2 Chainz as a “songwriter”

See Also:  I Love Lamp: Tim Westwood Thoroughly Enjoyed 2 Chainz’ Atrocious Freestyle (Video)
See Also:  This Week in Unneccesary Decoding: 2 Chainz’ “No Lie”