Rap Tweet That Make No F**king Sense: Gucci Mane Twitter Meltdown Edition Posted by Nathan S. on 09/09/13 | Filed under Humor, Rap Lines That Make No Sense, Gucci Mane

Yesterday I started hearing talk around the ol' interwebs that there was Twitter beef going down between Gucci Mane, Waka and the extended Brick Squad  family, and I promptly ignored it. I don't particularly give a fuck about Twitter beef in general, and when it involves rappers I almost never listen to, you couldn't pay me to care. (Literally. I get paid to write about rap and I didn't write about it.)

But today word of Gucci's Twitter meldtown reached such far reaching and fantastical proportions that I was finally forced to actually check out his timeline, and holy sweet baby jesus what the fuck is this man talking about?

Well, if there was ever a time to launch a "Rap Tweets That Make No Fucking Sense", this is it. In order from oldest to newest, because this shit really escalated quickly. There's just a special mix of hilarity, mental illness, intelligence and enough drugs to kill a pachyderm that make these must reads.

Fuck jeezy. Tip. Gotti. Waka.Nicki minaj drake d a Wooh.frenchy 2 chainz coachk kkaior eminem oj rock Quavo takeoff cardo dam g

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

Fuck Jeezy, T.I., Yo Gotti, Waka Flocka, Nicki Minaj and Drake, that I can follow. But what the fuck does "d a Wooh" mean? Looking through his entire timeline he uses "Wooh" a lot, so I'm guessing it's actually slang; maybe it just means "wooh". You know, like "woo!".  Or maybe it's the name of his orthodontist, Dr. Wooh. Who fucking knows. The great thing about Gucci's tweets are it's almost impossible to tell the difference between his words and him just accidently hitting random keys (aka "d a").

From there it's onto fuck French Montana, 2 Chainz, Coach K(?), Eminem, OJ, Rocko and Quavo (from Migos). As for "Kkaior", "takeoff", "cardo" and "dam g", your guess is as good as mine. They might be real people, they might be the name of his warlocks in an ongoing "Dungeons & Dragons" game.

Me and waka fuck nikki minaj dats nothing

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

He and Waka used to fuck Nicki Minaj. She disagrees, vehemently, but not much confusion here about Mr. Mane's intentions. What a shame to see two friends who (allegedly) used to tag team famous rappers together now become enemies. I guess there's just no such thing as true friendship.

Had a 3 sum wit keyshia and a white girl ask coach k. N Orlando

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

Jesus, what the fuck has Coach K been up to lately? I'll never be able to watch a Duke game the same way again.

Tell big cat. N Jacob. Stop fucking kids. Jacob

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

Fuck Jacob, what the fuck is wrong with you? Stop fucking kids. That's fucked up. Unless he's not actually accusing you of fucking kids, in which case, sorry for the whole pedophilia accusations Jacob (aka Big Cat, if that is indeed your real name). This is actually by far his most disturbing tweet though, I'm not really sure what to do it it.

Gotti been wanna b gucci n. Jeezy We call him guzzzyI fuc all. Ya hoes. U kno dat U can hit mine. I thought real niggas share hoes

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

Holy shit, I just got this one. He's saying that Yo Gotti wants to be Gucci and Jeezy so bad, they call him Guzzy (Gucci x Yeezy = Guzzy). Sure, it proves that Gucci is terrible at giving out nicknames, but still, I get it. These tweets are like those magic eye puzzles back in the day. If you squint and go cross-eyed and wait long enough dinosaur holograms start to appear and what not.

Tell tyga. Thas asshole hit good. Chyna. Free. Stan. My haitian boss. Nigga

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

Oh, sure, at first it sounds like Gucci engaged in homosexual relations with Senor Tyga, but I believe he's actually referring to having anal sex with Tyga's girlfriend, Black Chyna. Putting pronouns in any sort of understandable order just isnt the man's strength. As for the rest...I'm guessing he's got a Haitan friend named Stan (my Haitian people, can you confirm if there are any Haitains named Stan?) who's in jail, and whom he'd like freed. I think. Maybe.

Not sure what that has to do with Tyga. Maybe everything. Maybe nothing. The Mane worketh in mysterious ways.

Nikki minaj. Keysha dior taraji p henson n monica. That's a street nigga fantasy I got 10k apiece. Im horny errbody wear tennisskirts

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

Ok, this one actually makes sense, and is hilarious.

Warner. Mizay. Atlantic. Shapiro firm Emanon management asylum records bsm. Get ready 4 audit no deal 4 waka sell ya ghost bitch 1m

— Gucci Mane (@gucci1017) September 9, 2013

See, this is the kind of tweet that makes me think the man might just not be completely balls crazy (at least not DMX running around naked levels of balls crazy). Sure, he's obviously losing his shit to some extent and apparently refuses to put a period in even remotely the right place in a sentence, but he just rattled off an entire label and legal team; the man's negotiating a $1 million release for Waka via Twitter. Can't knock the hustle, even if the hustle is in serious need of an intervention.

Frankly, at the pace Gucci's going there's no way I can keep up with his nonsense without starting a serious meth habit of my own. Those interested can check to see if he's posted anything else balls crazy since I wrote this right here.

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