Weekly Re-Up: Unearthed Big Boi Footage, Drake Bandwagoning & More Posted by Lucas G. on 04/11/14 | Filed under Top Stories, Fails of the Week, Weekly Re-Up, General Awesomeness

Listen, it's Friday, we get it. Nobody really wants to do anything that involves using your brain. So the new "Weekly Re-Up" will provide you with both the biggest "Fails" and the most awesome "General Awesomeness", as well as some other must see shit from the week, and of course some boobs. We will also be including a "Weekend Soundtrack" selection to give you something to listen to this weekend. It's a whole lot of everything.

Now let's get started...

General Awesomeness:

Mayor Messi

It's been a minute since Rob Ford made the Re-Up. Just when you think your out of the endless Rob Ford stories, he pulls you back in. I said it at one point, anytime anything Rob Ford does goes onto the interwebz, it will probably end up here. It's basically our civic duty to bring you the biggest news and the biggest stories always seem to have a way of finding the mayor. We make fun of him for being fat and unathletic, talking openly about oral sex, and smoking crack (the triple thereat) but here is is proving all of them to be incorrect. Okay so maybe they are all still accurate, but the man is a great soccer player. Here he is just drilling penalty kicks against professional soccer players like he has been elected to do it.

Oh did I say professional athletes, I meant nine year olds. Look at the form, the power, the ice water in his veins. What a statement this is! If he is willing to embarrass a little kid twice think what he will do to you if you cross him in politics; Frank Underwood ain't even this ruthless. Its like an unwritten rule that no matter what the game, the little kid always wins, but not with Rob Ford. he goes against the grain to show he won't let anyone show him up. We need more politicians like this. Someone needs to make an internet game where play soccer with Rob Ford. "A Rob Ford game? I'm a genius! Why has nobody done this?! Oh wait...they have. God bless the internet.

High School Highlight Reel

In sports, high school highlight reels are almost folk lore; it's always crazy to see guys like Iverson or Ladainan Tomlinson when they were little still tearing shit up. In rap, we have videos of guys in studios or performing when they were younger, but we never really get to see what they kids; exactly why this video of Big Boi rapping in high school is such a gem.

The first thing I though of when I saw this? Where is Andre? I did some research and it turns out they did know each other in 1993, but it is still foolish to just expect him to pop up out of the blue and join Big Boi here. As much as I like to think about them being inseparable in reality, they probably you know, had lives outside of each other. It's crazy how linked the two are; even in high school, I just think of them as a team. Anyhow, as for the video, well it's pretty fucking amazing. Obviously he isn't as polished here, but there was a moment where he flashes the talent we know no he has. I got legitimately mad at the other guy who was rapping. I mean doesn't he know that's Big Boi and he is interrupting a legend; nobody wants to hear you! Then I realized that you know, he wasn't Big Boi then; I guess I lose all sense of time and space when talking about Outkast.  Also, imagine getting to perform with Big Boi? You realize that every time Outkast comes up, those people have been like "I made a song with Big Boi in high school". Wish I could say that. My only claim to fame is getting the high score on Pac-Man at Mike Tyson's house in 3rd grade, but that's nothing compared to this.

Best of The Rest:
I Witness News - Fake Drake
French Artist Reimagines Vintage Ads and Posters with Rap Lyrics
This Sign Language Rap Battle Is Unlike Anything You've Ever Seen
Watch Madlib Create a Beat, From Scratch, in The Matrix. Sort Of.

In Case You Missed It:
Black Girls Rock: The State of Women In Hip-Hop With Rapsody
I Ran a Half-Marathon Because I Don’t Want to Die

Fails Of The Week:

The Worst Behavior

I know we already talked about it on Monday, but there were some new developments in the Drake bandwagon case. As soon as finished spending my time right on an investigation into Drake's sports ties, I realized, I probably should have waited until Tuesday, I mean what if, just maybe, he goes to the UConn locker room? The whole day I was just imagining a scenario where it happened, but I just kept thinking that he has to know better. Still,throughout the whole game, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of the interwebz reacting to a Drake UConn picture. Nobody was a bigger UConn fan than me that night (except for maybe these people). Sure enough UConn won and it was time to see what this Drake guy was made of. Would he prove us all wrong and stay true to his Candian Kentucky roots?

Look how bummed he is just moments after Kentucky lost. No way he's taking any pictures.

Dude, come the fuck on. Really? When one of my teams loses (which is often) I never ever want to enter the state of the victorious team. If one of my teams were to ever lose in the championship, I don't even know what I would do; I mean the damage might be irreparable. Okay, I'd probably be fine the next day, but I certainly wouldn't want anything to do with anyone with any ties to the winning team.  At the very least, fucking change your shirt! Nobody told him to put on a jacket or anything? I honestly don't even know what he is thinking. Did he think we wouldn't notice? People don't forget, Drake. This is by far the most egregious violation in Drake's bandwagon history and it had to be a fail. I dig the guys music but he might just be the biggest goober in hip-hop. I can only imagine what is going to happen at the ESPY's this year now that Drake is the host (it's like ESPN is trolling the world).

Poll Position:

We get so wrapped up in our cozy little hip-hop bubble that we forget there is a whole world of people that don't listen to hip-hop. Sometimes it takes a poorly received Detox joke or Kanye reference to remind me and other times I am just slapped in the face by it. I love it so much, I forget people out there completely marginalize and devalue the art. The latest slap in the face comes from this 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll. If you want to be grumpy and have a bleak look on humanity for the next few hours, then click here. If you don't then stop reading because I'm also going to pick out some highlights for us to get mad over. If you are really lazy (hats off to you) I have put the real meat in bold.

Half of all Americans think that as a musical form, hip hop has most likely reached its peak and will not get any better. Twenty percent think that country music has reached its plateau, 10 percent think rock has reached its apogee, nine percent say pop has reached its zenith and only seven percent think that R&B should RIP. It may be that because hip hop is the most recently developed genre, it has not had the time to develop as strong and loyal a fan base as the other musical categories have. However, people of every age group including those 18-35 voted hip hop most likely to have peaked, now that's a bad rap.

Hip-hop does not have a strong and loyal fanbase? HIP-HOP DOES NOT HAVE A STRONG AND LOYAL FAN BASE?!?! I'm sorry, I guess this blog is just some bull shit. I guess this festival I have been going to at the god damn Kennedy Center for two weeks is just a bunch of bull shit. I guess waiting outside in early spring for 7 hours to see Lauryn Hill isn't loyalty or strength. I just saw a dude from Mali perform! So hip-hop has reached all ends of the earth and inspired all walks of life but the fan base is weak? I guess this RefinedHype community and the thousands of other blogs don't mean anything; name another genre that engages on the internet like the hip-hop community...I'll wait. Well what can you expect from a genre that has reached it's peak... these writes ups got me so mad, I completely forgot about the actual results. I feel sick....but wait there's more.

Almost three out of four Americans would select jazz as the more important type of American music. Only 19 percent think that hip hop is more important. Hip hop is undeniably popular but jazz is uniquely American. It embodies the melting pot of the southern United States and is comprised of a rich gumbo of sounds that combine different African American spirituals with newer forms like ragtime, blues and swing. The combinations create a series of ever-changing and evolving rhythmic beats that defy description.

Look. I'm not here to argue Jazz vs. Hip-hop (for the record Jazz would probably win) but I am going to point out how utterly absurd it is to deem one genre of music "more important" than another. Music is one of the most subjective things on the planet and what's unimportant to you might be someone else's lifeblood. To even try and compare any genre is just nonsense. Also since when is hip-hop not "uniquely American"? Last time I checked New York was in America.  And gimme a break with this, "rich gumbo of sounds that combine different African American spirituals with newer forms like ragtime, blues and swing. The combinations create a series of ever-changing and evolving rhythmic beats that defy description". THAT'S FUCKING HIP-HOP TOO! Try not to get too mad. Before you do this, I think I found the problem.

Nearly half of the Americans that we asked still listen to music the old fashioned way, they listen to the radio.

Worst of The Rest:
Nick Cannon Got Booed off the Court at a Knicks Game
Guy Loses Out On $100,000 Because He Didn’t Pick A NCAA Tournament Champion
Summertime is Great (Official Music Video)
The Devil Is Real, and He Made a Song About Social Media Marketing

Comment of The Week:
Normally the comment of the week is some quick little one liner that makes me laugh (Drake and Rick Ross fat jokes are a sure fire comment of the week) or an Anchorman reference. However, this week the award goes to Brandon Davis who wrote a comment longer than War & Peace and did on an article entitled Sex, Relationships & Fu**king.

This was long probably for no good reason other to... for no reason. I'm gonna be using what I like to call my "honest parenthesis" throughout this comment so don't mind the whole schizophrenic thing, just a motif nahmean?

Finally!! For some odd reason I always jump at the chance to talk about sex like an adult (because he's not gettin any) don't pay attention to the parenthesis... all lies (mm-hm). First thing:

"I had a string of love affairs before meeting my sweet but reserved husband." I've read quite a few erotica short stories and I think this lady has as well. Women in those stories always refer to their endeavors of non-committal lust as affairs, I believe she's doing the same here. Plus she comes off as British on high bourgeois setting and British chicks also like to refer to the term "affair" by strict definition, a personal concern or some such. So more than likely she just bouncing around. If she wants to loosen him up in bed, fuck in front of a mirror, people underestimate how impactful that shit can (He's not speaking from experience he just asked some open couples about it. Again he ain't gettin any)... Again thanks, parenthesis.

As for The Queen of Spring Clean, yeah seriously who gets their porn via magazine... that being said I some times like to use my brain instead of Redtube, Pornhub, Youporn, Xvideos, Spankbang, Palimas... you get it (we also don't care get to the point)... Alright. Anyway regardless of the format I keep telling people that porn is nothing but fabtasy... George R.R. Martin, mixed with Tolkien with HP. Lovecraft --if you're feeling wierd-- fantasy (yeah you know about those)... nah. Anyway there is no reason for her to blame herself, I have no idea why women tend to blame themselves over fantasy or take it as some kind f competition. I watched this shitty movie one time called Stranger, Halle Berry was in it. Anywhoozles in the said shitty film there was a line that stuck with me forever... well up to this point anyway; "Show me a gorgeous woman with a husband and I'll show you the man that's tired of fucking her." That's a bit grim and worrisome, it might not even be the case here but what it does connect to is familiarity, when couples get well accompanied or familiar with each other the fireworks turn into sparks, which goes down more. At that point the couple has to decide how to move forward; the idea of confrontation over porn is tricky, that's one thing women aren't strong enough to handle unless they have some type sexual confidence so instead of addressing the "situation" with poise and understanding they just attack (this motherfucker knows about that shit) yeah, so on that front if she can't actually engage she probably should just forgo it all.I wouldn't view porn as a vice unless it actually is but then I have to examine the person because the human mind has no controller but the self (what the fuck does that even mean) I don't know. That's all I got.

It's more than 500 words! That's essentially an article...in the comment section. Can't knock the hustle...can't knock it at all.

Weekly Soundtrack:

When you are gong to see Brother Ali live, it's best you listen to him for the entire weekend. In fact it's best you listen to him all the time. One of the best emcees in the game hands down.

Booty of The Week:

Only 145 days until football...

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