Sex Dolphin: A Look Inside R. Kelly’s Balls Crazy Lyrical Mind Posted by Nathan S. on 11/20/13 | Filed under Humor, R. Kelly, Balls Crazy

Long before I spent my time trying to figure out if Riff Raff was an insane person or a living performance art piece, I devoted an extrodinarily large amount of time trying to get inside the head of R. Kelly. (Which, yes, is a very dangerous place to be.)

As fas as I'm concerned, "does R. Kelly know how insane his lyrics are?" is the most important question of our age. When he's in the studio writing "Sex Planet" is he thinking "Holy shit, I can't believe I can write such insane stuff and people will listen to it," or is he stone cold serious? And what, exactly, is his writing process? Does he carefully craft and revise lines like "let me explore your secret garden", or does he just sing the first shit that pops into his head (hence the craziness). Well thanks to Rolling Stone, we finally got something close to an answer: 

Sweet baby jesus that was fantastic, and the best part is that while Kelly was singing "Sex Dolphin" you were thinking, "that shit could be a hit", right? Because it totally could. The mere fact that R. Kelly's brain exists on Earth makes me happy to be alive. 

If it weren't for the immortal Rick James, Kells would easily be the most Tyson Zone singer in R&B history: did you hear about the time he stormed out of the "Best of Both Worlds" concert with Jay, stole a golf cart and spent the night working a drive through window at McDonald's? Cause that shit really happened.

And I'll take any excuse I can get to bring that story up again, even if it's a freestyle "Sex Dolphin" track.