Gucci Mane’s Real Prison Release Statement (Video)

This morning Gucci Mane was released from Fulton County Prison, and upon his release he proceeded to read a statement that he clearly only had a minor hand in writing. I don't fault Gucci for having his lawyers and PR people write his statement - that's what they're paid for - but that doesn't change the fact that he sounded like a third grader reading a book report. This being RefinedHype, just like I did for Mark McGwire and Tiger Woods, I thought we'd take a look at what Gucci's statement would have really sounded like if he got to say exactly what he wanted to.



Statement By Gucci Mane Upon Release From Fulton County Prison:

Gucci Mane: "[My mistakes] will not be repeated. These past six months have been a difficult time but fortunately I have learned a great deal from my experience. I was able to do a great deal of soul searching; I am coming out with a new attitude towards life."

The Refined Take: "Let's be honest. I've been arrested for drug trafficking, murder, assault and parole violations (twice) - and that's just the stuff I got caught for. There's little to no chance that this is the last time I'll be running into the law. In fact, while in prison it occurred to me that I don't have a DUI yet. I promise I'll do everything in my power to have that oversight corrected immediately."

Gucci Mane: "I want to continue on a positive track and truly focus on being a role model to my fans and my community. I am looking towards the future with a newfound respect and appreciation for the law and a strong dedication to my music and my career."

The Refined Take: "I want to continue on a positive track and truly focus on being a role model to my fans and my community. For example, instead of "Wasted", I'll now be releasing tracks titled 'Wasted in a Responsible Manner' and 'Safe Sex in Crazy Places'. Also, if I'm one of your role models, may I suggest you get a new role model.

Gucci Mane: "Finally, a lot of things happened while I was away. I'm back to address these things."

The Refined Take: "Finally, a lot of things happened while I was away. For example, T.I. was also released from prison. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm worried. If he wanted to, he'd destroy me. So one of my first priorities upon getting released will be to purchase T.I. lavish gifts and convince him to work with me. Name a car, it's your Clifford."

Gucci Mane: To everyone who was there for me, thanks for y'alls support. Holla."

The RefinedTake: Actually, that's the realest thing Gucci said all statement. Really nothing for me to do there.