A Letter To My Mom From Los Santos: Send Cash & Ammunition Posted by Lucas Garrison on 09/17/13 | Filed under Humor, Opinion, Video Games

It has only been a day, but I am already in love with Los Santos. Everything here is so amazing and while I have been to places like it, this one definitely takes the cake. I spent the first few hours just driving around seeing all the sites, but there is still so much left uncovered. I need a map of the place, but I don’t think they can make one that big! Just kidding, they handed me one when I bought my $60 dollar ticket. It has been very helpful in magnificent around the cavernous city and intricate highway. While car trips bore me usually, the radio has hours of entertainment with songs from my favorite like Kendrick Lamar, Freddie Gibbs, Future, and Bootsy Collins and I am sure there are others I haven’t even heard yet! I wish our radio stations were like this.

To get a better perspective of Los Santos, I hopped on the gondola that took me to the top of the mountain. I thought I was stuck up there but came across a dirt bike; don’t worry, I wore a helmet!  In addition to the mountains, desert (which I explored by way of ATV) and city Los Santos has it all. They even have beaches and jet skis, but watch out for sharks! I got attacked by jaws, but the heath care system here is great and it only costs a hundred bucks for them to fix me up good as new. When traveling the streets, there is no telling who or what you’ll find; I even heard rumors about aliens in the mountains! The next day I was well enough to drive down to the golf course and play a round or two. I even met a girl at a special club; she’s an umm “exotic dancer”. So far life is great!

I know what you are thinking, between gondola’s golf, clubs, and hospitals how am I paying for all this. Well, I linked up with a real straight-shooter named Franklin who has been helping me make some money. He might have a questionable past (of which I am still learning) but you always told me don’t judge a book by its cover. He has been working at a car dealership, but recently he and his boss had a spat so that is till up in the air. He has a dog  named chop, who could really use some training I heard there is an App I can download to help train him, but I have yet to investigate it. I also met Franklin’s friend Lamar, who I am not so sure of. He and Franklin seem like good buddies, but they way they treat each other and his half-assed job attempts leave me a little worried about their future. Franky was even nice enough to introduce me to his new boss, Michael, who you would love. He is a real family man and is now retired but at one point, didn’t mind getting his hands dirty to make a living; he seems to know this city like the back of my hand. The cool thing about Franklin and his associates is that they seem to have this special chemistry. It’s like one minute Franklin is himself but then he taps into his buddies to help him complete the task at hand.  The telekinesis like power isn’t his only skill. Franklin is an excellent drive and when he is behind the wheel it’s almost like he can slow down time to weave through traffic. I’m sure Michael and Lamar have special skills too, but I don’t know them well enough yet. Watching them all work together is really fun.

Franklin might be a 99%-er now, but I think he has the smarts to get to the top. If he can get his feet under him, I know he will spend wisely. Here in Los Santos, anyone can trade stocks, buy and sell real estate but it is matter of getting the money to do so. There are plenty of odd jobs to us and I suspect if Franklin and I put our heads together, Los Santos will be ours before too long.

I don’t want to worry you, but I wouldn’t want to lie. I have had some trouble with the cops. Nothing serious and thankfully thanks to my running skill (which grows better by the step) I was able to out run them. I have a feeling though, if I really got them mad, by say, wandering onto an airbase full of planes and missle-toting helicopter, they wouldn’t be so quick to lose. Don’t fear, Franklin will help me stay out of trouble.

Since I already have you worried, I guess I will get it all out of the way. Crime here is rampant. There are hookers strolling the streets at night, car jackings left and right, and I stumbled across an armed robbery. Apparently events like this happen all over at random times and if you are in the right place at the right time you can help out. I helped stop a store clerk form getting robbed and he rewarded me handsomely. I know you don’t like me putting myself in danger, but it was worth it. The gun laws here seem to be non-existent. Everyone is packing heat, me included; safety first right, Ma?. I am not a great shot, but am quickly getting better. The key to surviving in Los Santos is building up your skill set and I am improving every day.

While crime might be bad, that doesn’t stop people from spending money on cars. There are so many fancy sports cars, but my favorite is the classic Banshee. Even those who cant afford the fancy stuff have no trouble getting around on motorcycles, pickup trucks, and any other kind of car you could imagine. There is even a bus system should I be drinking (which you can do in Los Santos). I am not into cars but I know little bro would love it here because around every corner there is an auto shop where you can trick out any vehicle with custom horns, tinted windows, spoilers, and all the other bells and whistles. I am not ready to make my own car just yet, for now, I’ll stick to…umm… lets call it forced hitchhiking.

In just a few short hours, I can already tell you, Los Santos is my favorite place on earth. Much better than Liberty City and Vice City; which were legendary trips. This one is like those on steroids. I am even more excited because on October 1st I can have friends visit and together, we can take on Los Santos as a gang…except without the crime of course.

I have to run, Franklin needs me for a job, hopefully it will all go according to plan, but it never seems to. Between cruising around town, meeting locals, running errands and golf, and parachuting. I have had my hands full. I already feel satisfied but there is so much more to learn. I will be very busy these next few weeks growing and bettering myself as I acclimate to Los Santos so I don’t know if I will have time to write but I love you and say hi to dad for me and do me a favor, don’t listen to any news coming from Los Santos; it’s all lies.

Love,
Lucas

P.S.- Send money (and ammunition if you have some to spare).

 

Update:  If you still haven't gotten your GTA fix, Rockstar and Good Music All Day teamed up to bring us this mixtape full of bangers perfect for killing hookers and stealing cars.

See Also:  Hookers, Hell Raising & Hip-Hop: Breaking Grand Theft Auto’s Rap Soundtracks