Fails the Week: Lil Wayne Karate Chops Emmett Till, Carnival Cruises Into Sh*t & More Posted by Nathan S. on 02/15/13 | Filed under Fails of the Week, Humor, Fails

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this bitch.

For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve random hot girls) I tackle Lil Wayne's Emmett Till reference on "Karate Chop", the shittiest cruise ship in the world and more.

Enjoy...

No One Wins When Lil Wayne & Emmett Till Are Involved


Sweet baby jesus this Lil Wayne "Karate Chop (Remix)" thing is a fail on every level.

First, obviously Weezy saying that he's going to beat the pussy up like Emmett Till is fucked up. Does it cross "the line"? That depends on where your line is, but Till's family certainly wasn't happy about it, and that's more than enough.

But Epic Records' response to the uproar around the line is laughable. We can debate the censorship implications of Epic pulling the song, but what's not debatable is the bullshiterry of Epic's statement that the song was an "unauthorized leak". Yeah, like a very popular artist and perhaps the most popular artist on the planet put out a song and no one at the label took a listen. You better believe the label heard it and either didn't notice the line or didn't care; or at least they didn't care until they started getting bad publicity, at which point they started blaming everyone but themselves.

Jesus, what a mess. Maybe I should just go back to pretending lie Future and Wayne collaborations don't exist.

Meet the Future of Young(er) Money


Two Lil Wayne fails in a row? Believe me, I could do twelve Weezy fails in a row. This week the Young Money camp announced they had signed Wayne's daughter, Reginae Carter, to the label because she's an extremely talented young woman and not at all because her dad's Lil Wayne.

But this isn't a complete case of nepotism, Reginae did have a kinda, sorta hit as a member of the OMG Girlz (nope, not a joke, that's real). Of course the real danger here is that she does blow up; are you ready to live in a world where OMG Girlz ft. Drake is played on the radio 749 times a day? Because that's the world we're headed towards.

Just wait until Pusha T hits her with the "You're signed to your dad, who's signed to his daddy" line.

When Keeping Instagram Beef Real Goes Wrong


Burning oil? Burning oil though? What is this, the Middle Ages? I don't know what type of person decides to go fight someone over some Instagram shit, but then deciding to go with oil? As you can tell, I'm almost speechless. Weep for the future of humanity.

A Carnival of Shit


Have you been following this Carnival cruise travashamockey? Have you? Long story short, there was a fire on the cruise ship and shit turned into "Lord of the Flies" with the quickness. Here's just a sampling of loveliness from one of the passengers:

"[The worst thing I've witnessed is] the toilets that fell off the wall because they were so full and shit and urine floating around.
Woman died yesterday of a heart attack.
People are spelling "HELP" with their bodies. Our theme song has been Alicia Keys: "This Boat Is On Fire."
We are going 1mph."

And as if that wasn't bad enough, the ship finally made it back to land...and the bus' Carnival rented to get passengers to their homes broke down.

The lesson, as always? Eat the skinny passengers first. The fat passengers don't pose a threat. It's that skinny ones that are the most likely ones to threaten your reign as the KING OF THE BROKEN DOWN CRUISE SHIP!!!

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