Fails of the Week: Kanye’s Non-Release Date, Meth vs. Macklemore & More Posted by Nathan S. on 05/03/13 | Filed under Fails of the Week, Humor, Fails

The dictionary defines "Schadenfreude" as pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. In that case, we're about to get Schadenfreude like a motherfucker up in this piece.

For the latest edition of "Fails of the Week" (aka your favorite running column that doesn't involve random hot girls) I tackle Kanye's (definitely not a) album release date announcement, teenage twerking, Method Man vs. Macklemore and more.

Enjoy...

Kanye's Album (Definitely Not) Dropping 6/18!

June Eighteen

— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) May 2, 2013

When Kanye tweeted "June Eighteen" this week the rampant speculation started that he was referring to the release date for a new album, but I was immediately suspicious. This is Ye we're talking about, the man loves attention. He could just as easily have been talking about the release date for his new designer man purse line as a new album, and I've learned from 11 million previous examples that rap release dates are meaningless.

But then it appeared that I was wrong when Elliott Wilson tweeted the following: "Chris Atlas at Def Jam confirmed. Kanye West. New album. 6.18.13."

Well shit, looks like I was wrong, that really was a release date. My apologies, maybe I shouldn't always be so pessimisti....wait, what's that?

Clarity: Kanye West album release date has NOT been confirmed. Apologies to Chris Atlas.

— Elliott Wilson (@ElliottWilson) May 2, 2013

Yeah, that's what I thought. Let's just all just fucking relax about whatever the fuck June 18 means. Until I hear an ACTUAL confirmation, I'm assuming Yeezy's referring to his next pedicure appointment.

The World Needs More Teenage Twerking!


I'm going to admittedly be a hypocrite here because if my daughter ever ended up in a twerk video I'd immediately convert to fundamentalist Islam and put her in a burqa for the rest of her life. But...the rap blogger in me thinks that a high school handing out week long suspensions over some good ol' fashioned twerkin is a bit much. Come on, aren't we also concerned about an obesity epidemic? At least the kids are getting some exercise.

As bonus fails, they also appear to have gotten the school's only black male to be the "rapper", and you'd think a reporter would be able to say the word "twerk" without making it sound like a foreign language, but apparently not. Listen, no one here's a winner.

In related news, you also shouldn't be fired for saying "tremendous amount of sex" on air.

Great, Now There's Meth vs. Macklemore Beef


For the record, Method Man is one of the best live performers I've ever seen, and yes, by all accounts he was the first to crowd walk. I'm happy to give him credit for that, but Method Man didn't exactly copyright that shit. It's not like Macklemore claimed to have invented crowd walking, he just started doing it as his shows. And now Meth is encouraging people to drop him?

Meth, you're a legend, I even loved "How High", but you can get all the way the fuck out of here with this one.

This False NSFW Stuff Has to Stop


If I was president of the internet you know what I'd do? I'd establish a NSFW rating system. We clearly need one. Too often we see a headline like "Topless Photos of Amanda Bynes!", can't help yourself, click, and discover that instead of the celebrity titties you were expecting, you get someone sitting on a bathroom sink looking like they're coming down from a coke high. Nothing's worse than the dissapointment you feel when you think you're getting some true NSFW, and instead get something your grandma wouldn't blink at.

So you know how things get rated PG, R, XXX, etc.? This is going to be like that, only the opposite. Here's my rating system, I recommend we adopt it immediately and make the internet a better place.

NSFW - Amber Rose Level = Straight up vagina all everything all in your face, you're gonna want to see this shit.

NSFW - Kate Middleton Level = Give 'em a look when you get a minute, but no rush. It's mostly just a bunch of blurrry pixels.

NSFW - Trina Level: Actively avoid, there are some things that once you see, you can't unsee, like Trina's skin rash.

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