Rihanna Needs a “Rude Boy” (Video)

There are a few videos that, regardless of the specific song the visuals are attached to, you pretty much have to watch, videos like Rihanna's new "Rude Boy". An '80s soaked flick featuring Rihanna, in no particular order, fake playing the drums, riding a lion and checking a dude's pants for the size of his..um...endowment, you know you want to watch. It's ok. Don't fight it.



The Refined Take:

1) She may be ripping off M.I.A.'s '80s influenced style, but you have to admit, Rihanna looks damn good here. What I wouldn't give to be that zebra.

2) "Call me rude boy, can you get it up?" Yeah, I'd have to say the ability to get it up is probably the primary qualification of a rude boy. Unless by "rude" she means "popping Cialis like Jolly Ranchers".

3) Check out the 0:22 - 0:25 mark. Is she just randomly fondling her right breast as she dances? Sorry, that wasn't supposed to be a question. Yo, she's randomly fondling her right breast as she dances. It's subtle, but you'd think the always stingy censors would have picked up on that one.

4) I'd like to nominate Rihanna's drumming for inclusion in the "videos that contain girls who obviously aren't actually playing their instruments but no one cares because they're so hot" Hall of Fame. The all-time great is, of course, Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love". No one's ever topping that one.

5) Like it or not, this song's now gonna be stuck in your head all day. Sorry. It's like the music equivalent of "Alien", living inside you and feeding off your energy, only Rihanna won't eventually burst our of your stomach.