The Real “Most Ridiculous Rap Lyrics of All-Time” List Posted by Nathan S. on 10/27/09 | Filed under Features

Today that bastion of hip-hop knowledge HuffingtonPost.com released their list of the most ridiculous rap lyrics of all time, and while they can't help but occasionally hit upon a gem, not surprisingly they miss far more often than they hit - mostly because they obviously haven't listened to half the songs they mention. Here's where they went wrong, and a quick list of the lines they missed. Let the ridiculousness begin....

Hits
Chingy: "I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian, Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian."
Japanese, Chinese or even Asian? In related news I like BLTs, PB&Js and even sandwiches. Let's just say I don't think anyone's surprised that Chingy came groveling back to DTP, and is still nowhere to be found.

Jay-Z: "Thirty-eight revolve like the sun 'round the Earth."
Does this line deserve to be on an "all-time worst" list? No, not even close. But with that said a man as smart as Hova should realize the Earth revolves around the sun, not the other way around. This is a great example of a line that's too clever for its own good. Let's just hope he never battle raps Copernicus. (Sorry, that last joke may have been too nerdy.)

Master P: "If you don't bring back my mothaf****n money or my mothaf****n dope. You can forget about Christmas n**ga, cause you ain't gon' even see New Years."
Apparently Master P doesn't own a calendar because New Years definitely comes after Christmas. Unless I guess if he's threatening someone on say December 26 and he's referring to the following year's Christmas. So...um....yeah.

Misses
Living Legends: "I keep it O.G. watching episodes of O.C."
Not surprisingly the Huffington Post doesn't seem to have a sense of humor, or have any idea who the Living Legends are. This line's an obvious joke, and a pretty funny one at that. But that's right, I forgot. Rappers are so dumb they don't understand how to use hyperbole or sarcasm in their rhymes. Of course, sorry.

Wayne: "I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed..."
Now I don't think anyone's going to claim this is a classic line, but the Huffington Post goes off on a rant about how menstruating isn't a venereal disease, which would be a fair point, is that was the f**king line. Actually it's "Like a menstrual I bleed", which doesn't make the line less crazy, but it does make sense. One pronoun makes a lot of difference.

Kanye: "I live by two words: 'f**k you, pay me'"
First off, that's a dope line, and a dope song. Second, HuffPo's problem is that "f**k you, pay me" is four words, not two. Actually a good point, unless you've actually listened to the song. Kanye clearly splits that line into two separate lines or two words each. Someone's got a counting problem.

Overlooked Ridiculousness
LMFAO: "I should have seen it coming, wish I had telekinesis."
Ok, this one, of LMFAO's remix to "Love Lockdown" might not be on everyone's shit list, but for some reason it drives me absolutely insane. I'm assuming they meant to make a reference to some sort of psychic ability, but telekinesis is the ability to move things with your mind, which, while cool, would do nothing to help you see a bad relationship coming. You'd think people would know what words mean before they use them in songs.

Mase: "Player please, I'm the macaroni with the cheese."
For my money the worst line of all time, mostly because it's just so goddamn lazy. You can just hear Mase thinking "what rhymes with please?" as he delivers the line, and then, of all thing, he goes with macaroni and cheese? Don't get me wrong, mac and cheese is a delicious lunch, but it makes absolutely no sense here. Or worse, it means, "player please, I'm a box of cheap pasta available at grocery stores for a very cheap price."