After These Lui Topless Pics, I’m Retiring From the Rihanna Boobs Game (NSFW) Posted by Nathan S. on 04/30/14 | Filed under Top Stories, Girls, Rihanna, NSFW, Rihannas Boobs

What a long, strange trip it's been. It's been almost two years now since the first time I wrote about Rihanna's boobs, and in that time I've delivered four updates. The sun has risen, the sun has set. Spring has turned into summer, summer into fall, fall into winter and winter back into spring. Entire countries have been created and destroyed, and in that time there's been one constant in my life: the quest to determine, once and for all, just how big Rihanna's boobs are. 

Well, that journey has now officially come to an end. This will be the last post I ever do about Rihanna's boobs. Sweet baby jesus knows I'm not retiring from the Rihanna boob investigation game because of a lack of material. In fact, the opposite. Throughout it all, the carnival outfits and the bikini pics, what really drove me was a sense of mystery, the thrill of the chase. That joy is gone, replaced by the admittedly still cool but far less interesting fact of Rihanna's boobs (which, I think we can now conclusively say, are kind of '70s porn star-ish). 

Over the last few months Rihanna seems to have consciously decided that topless was now her preferred clothing style, and in the process she's removed any and all mystery. But don't grieve, this is not a time for mourning. How can I continue an investigative series in such a climate of un-mystery? But rather than grieve, let us celebrate the journey so many of us have traveled together with Rihanna's new photoshoot for Lui, the French equivalent of Playboy. Enjoy it. As those wise scholars Boyz II Men once said, and so we've come to the end of the road. 

This is exactly what Rihanna's boobs look like. Mystery solved. It was real while it lasted, see you down the road my friends...

* When I say I'm retiring from the Rihanna's boobs game, I mean "retire" like how rappers say it. In other words, I fully reserve my right to return to the boobs game should the proper occasion arise.

[Nathan S. is the managing editor of The DJBooth, the proprietor of RefinedHype, and a hip-hop writer. He also occasionally talks in podcast form and appears on RevoltTV. His beard is awesome. This is his Twitter.]

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