Your Life Will Never Be the Same After You Hear Germoney Posted by Nathan S. on 10/15/12 | Filed under Humor, Germoney

I don't like to brag, but RefinedHype was onto Krispy Kreme well before Danie Tosh jumped on my bandwagon. Go ahead and Google "Krispy Kreme Rapper", we got that Top 3 search results status. Yeah, that's right, we're kind of a big deal...when it comes to "so bad I can't believe this shit is real" rappers that get turns into memes". It's kind of my thing.

But with great power comes great responsibility, and I've been feeling a lot of pressure to find another rapper in Krispy's ballpark. Well, I don't want to get your hopes up, but I may have just uncovered an rapper so awesomely terrible it will change your life forever. Fair warning, from here on out your life will be divided into two parts: Before RefinedHype played Germoney, and after.

Hit play on that video below. Yep, just your standard enjoyably ignorant rap, although I do have to hand it to Know Justice, a lot of dude rhyme about bouncing booties, not many about bouncing titties. And then the 1:45 mark rolls around and....



..oh shit!!! Holy ball nuggets, am I on crazy pills or did that just really happen? Hold on, let's rewind and play it again....yep, that just happened. Let me tell you, I've now watched that shit more times than I want to admit, and I'm still just as speechless as the first time.

First off, let's all agree that verse is fucking amazing. Not only is "the floozy want to do me with her boobies and her two piece" deserve its own section on RapGenius, but those bars when he starts rhyming in German, and then rhymes some German word with "bouncin" to close it off? My brain just fucking exploded.

But just who is Germoney, besides some dude with an amazing rap name? And what insane series of events lead a random Florida rapper like Know Justice to say to himself, "You know what this song really needs to take it to the next level? A German guest verse."? I've got more questions than answers. Here what we do know.

Some serious research fucking around on the internet doesn't reveal much. This is not his Twitter, and his Facebook page no longer exists, and then jackpot.

You don't put together a site like that unless you're serious. My favorite part about Germoney, you know, besides the way he rhymes "boobies" with "floozy", is his own description of his music: "Kid Cudi meets Jay-Z meets LMFAO meets Yelawolf with a touch of crunk and a German accent."

Considering that description makes absolutely no sense, and Germoney's music makes absolutely no sense, I'd say that's actually a pretty fucking accurate description. I know everyone with a Tumblr's going to rush off to make Germoney a living meme, if they haven't already, and I won't stop you. But personally I'm just going to love the fact that Germoney actually exists.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to spent the rest of my afternoon trying to figure out what the fuck "Schmez" means. Enjoy, or something....







See Also: Krispy Kreme is A Hoax Put On By Tyler Cassidy, But He’s Still the “Baddest”