Breakdown Beatdown: Bugatti Boyz (Diddy x Rick Ross) “Another One” (Listen, Download & Beatdown)

When I first heard this new record from Diddy and Rick Ross, who are collectively now calling themselves the Bugatti Boyz cause, I don't know, Diddy's horrible at naming things, my first thought was, "Oh my god, this has enough nonsense to be it's own "Rap Lines That Make No Fucking Sense" column. But then I thought about the outpouring of response after I tore apart that Soulja Boy and Fiddy track and realized "Another One" was the perfect opportunity to official start the new series y'all have been asking for. Welcome to "Breakdown Beatdown".

Notes: You can listen to the track at the bottom of the page, and because I'd like to maintain at least some small measure of my sanity, I'm only breaking down Diddy's verses. Breakdown/beatdown is below.

"You nigga's paranoid, I party gettin' money / I know I'm the shit, my janitor be gettin' money."

So what you're telling me is that your janitor isn't a slave and you actually pay him or her in accordance with U.S labor law. I'm not impressed, especially considering there's a 99% chance Bad Boys' janitors are all undocumented immigrants making below minimum wage. Also, way to rhyme "money" with "money". Slow down Shakespeare, you've already confused Waka Flocka.

"I got a skyscraper, it's a hell of a view / got me closer to God, angel wings on my coupe."

If by "got a skyscraper" you mean your offices are in a building that also houses an after school program and whatever the hell these people do than yes, you got a skyscraper.

"Pray for me I grind every day for it / if you see me ridin in it that means I paid for it."

"Dear God, please help the survivors of that terrible landslide in Mexico, and please give my daddy a job, he's trying so hard to feed our family. Oh, and also please make Diddy even more obscenely wealthy. Thank you Lord. Amen."

"Fuck the Forbes list it's time to tell the truth, I ate more / got a billion baby, time to get me eight more."

Hold on....I just got this memo from Forbes:

"Dear Mr. Diddy, as I'm sure you're aware, Forbes is the most respected source in the world when it comes to assessing financial assets, so when we wrote that you couldn't even buy Jay-Z lunch, we meant it. You're worth $36 million. Deal with it.

Fuck you too,
Steve Forbes, editor and publisher of Forbes Magazine."

"I got money baby, I could order eight more...Twelve bedrooms, time to get me eight more / stack all the cases of Ciroc on the eighth floor."

Oh, and can I also get eight more burritos, I'm crazy hungry. With the mild salsa, I can't stand that hot shit. And eight more copies of "The Hangover", I could watch that movie all day. And fuck it, throw in eight dwarves. Don't ask me why, just do it.

"These hates spec-a-late, they always watchin mine / they know what time it is /

God I hate it when haters spec-a-late. When they speculate, that's cool, but spec-a-latin? Fuck that.

"Like my watch line / my clothes line / the cologne bitch / I know you smell this money sittin on this throne bitch / I'm strong bitch / I own shit / gave myself a ten digit bonus."

Quick recap of Diddy's rhyme scheme there: Line, line, bitch, bitch, bitch, shit, bonus. There ya go, now those are some rhymes Waka can understand.

"I'm the money man, never finance / come get your money baby, with ya fine ass / if your nigga broke, time to get another one / if your bitch is trippin, time to get another one."

Nothing like some relationship advice from a man who's never been married, but is the biological father of five children and the informal stepfather of another child.

"I'm Puff Daddy, there will never be another one / Bugatti Boyz forever....one."

Now we're back to Puff Daddy? Seriously, I don't think people truly realize how terrible Sean Combs is at naming things. Not only do we have Puff Daddy/Puffy/P. Diddy/Diddy, but the man's named such legendary groups as Da Band, Danity Kane and Day 26. How his kids escaped with reasonably decent names is beyond me.

And there we have it, the inaugural edition of "Breakdown Beatdown". Love? Hate? Indifference? Let me know in the comments below.
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Download "Another One" via UserShare
Download "Another One" via Mediafire

Listen right now below. You may not want to have any sharp objects nearby first though.