5 (More) Rap Lines That Make No F**king Sense Posted by Nathan S. on 06/14/10 | Filed under Top Stories, Features, Rap Lines That Make No Sense

The first edition of "Rap Lines That Make No F**king Sense" went over so well I had to bring it back for a second go around. To recap, lines that are merely bad don't qualify. Instead, there needs to be something fundamentally wrong, incorrect or just plain dumb about the line. For example, Jay-Z's "Thirty-eight revolve like the sun round the Earth" sounds ill, except that the sun doesn't revolve around the Earth. Got it? Good - now with no further delay I present five more lines that make no f**king sense courtesy of Drake, Mase, DJ Quik, Foxy Brown and the Black Knights.

Drake ft. The- Dream "Shut It Down"

Now I'm not going to pretend like I've got the world's greatest game, but the past 27 years on Earth have taught me a few things about how to talk, and not talk, to the opposite sex. Let me cut right to the chase. If you're in the midst of trying to seduce a woman, I'm having a hard time thinking of saying anything more ill-advised, "Baby you finer than your fine cousin, and your cousin fine..." Maybe in Drake's world girls f you no matter what you say, but in the real world, softly whispering to a woman how fine her cousin is is a guaranteed recipe for a slap and blue balls. (Note: I couldn't find video of the full version of "Shut It Down", so if you really want to hear the line you can listen to the track at the bottom of the page .

Foxy Brown - "Affirmative Action"

I'll be honest, I have no idea what to do with Foxy Brown's mathematically ambiguous line from The Firm's "Affirmative Action". Technically the final answer's right, but everything in the rest of her equation is wrong.
First the line: "Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get sixteen, double it times three. We got forty-eight, which mean a whole lot of cream. Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight We back to sixteen..."
Now let's do the math: "32 grams, chop it in half" = 16 / "double it" = 32 / "times three" = 96 / "divide the profit by four" = 24 / "subtract eight" = 16.
I know I'm being kind of math nerdy here, but despite messing up everything in the middle (ex. 32 time 3 = 92, not 48), she someone still ended up at 16. So either Foxy accidentally got it right, or she's invented some new field of quantum mathematics in which you can add and subtract numbers incorrectly and still arrive at the right answer. Someone get that woman a Nobel Prize. (Props to Burmy for the heads up.)

DJ Quik "Dollaz + Sense"

"Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man befo'/But you gon be the first you little trick ass ho." Um, I'm not quite sure how to break this to you Quik, but you do realize that mean you'll be getting your dick sucked by a man? If that's your thing that's totally fine, but I don't think that's really the image you're trying to convey here.

Black Knights "Middle Finger"

Off the Wu-Tang affiliated "The Swarm Vol. 1" album comes this classic line from an unidentified Black Knights' emcee (I think dude's name is Christbearer): "A whiff while I myth and a sniff off a E&J fifth / and a spliff, the proton neutron / Sally with the crouton dipping in the Yucon." Actually, now I think about it, this makes perfect sense. The dude's high, and drunk, and he's in a Yukon with someone named Sally who's enjoying herself a crouton. Not a lot of confusion there. (Props to NYsportsGUY for the heads up.)

Mase "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down"

"Young, black, and famous, with money hanging out the anus." You see Mase, there are these things called banks that will hold your money for you. There's no reason to keep it clenched betwixt your butt cheeks. Plus you can't be getting very good interest on that anus money. Also, never, never, never take any cash from Mase.

Have some more rap lines that make no f**king sense? Email me at nathan(@)refinedhype.com.

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