Fails of the Week: Diddy Rambles, Sperms Gets Avoided, Jets Beat Pats & More!

It’s one of the hidden truths of sports journalism that writers often finish their columns as the game’s happening, then tweak them slightly to reflect the final score, thus allowing them to go straight home after the game. (That’s why sports writers secretly hate close games and surprise finishes.) Actually, it’s not that much of a secret anymore.

Before Monday night’s Jets vs. Patriots game even got underway, NY Times columnist William Rhoden had finished an entire column about how the Jets victory (which didn’t actually happen) proved that the Patriots were falling apart at the seams, writing that a “shift in power was taking place. The Jets are in ascendancy, while New England is in retrograde.”  And to make matters worse, he tied the Patriots loss (which didn’t actually happen) to the Spygate scandal, saying that the Jets had won because they deserved to morally: “New England has not won a championship since the Jets turned Belichick in for cheating. Is this a coincidence?”

And then the Patriots delivered a 45-3 ass whooping.

But did that stop the Times from accidentally publishing Rhoden’s original piece? No, no it did not. Oops. (They’ve since pulled it, but the internet never forgets.)

So as both a fellow journalist and a die hard Pats fan, allow me to take a moment to, in the most classy, professional way possible, to tell William Rhoden to suck it. Suck it hard Rhoden. I may write about Diddy and songs about pulling out for a living, but even I’ve never been that wrong. Suck on it.