Holy Rap Game Batman! Who Are Hip-Hop’s Superheroes? Posted by Lucas G. on 01/09/14 | Filed under Top Stories, Opinion, Debates, Rap Game

No matter how original you think an idea is, I guarantee someone, somewhere on the internet is already five steps ahead of you. It is bad in that regard, but awesome in the sense that you don't have to try hard to find something cool. Case in point, Deadspin's Pulitzer-worthy  Which Athlete Would Make The Best Batman? Well, as you know we LOVE random, hypothetical rap game comparisons. So after deciding that Tom Brady is clearly Batman, the only thing left to do was find out which rappers would be some of our favorite crime fighters.

Batman- Tupac

For as noble, just and strong Batman is, the dude likes to party too. People always paint him as this troubled soul who fights crime by night, but I prefer to think of him as the billionaire playboy, who parties with models when not out kicking ass; either way, you are right. The one rapper who encompasses all of Batman's many sides is Tupac. First, we all know Tupac liked to party and as a lady-killer. With song's like "Thug Passion" or "How Do U Want" we all know he liked to drink and fuck, which though crude is what Bruce Wayne is all about. Though he was no stranger to getting wild, Tupac also had a great deal of intelligence and thirst for justice. As easily as he could rap about drinking and smoking, he could rip off a deep, powerful, and thought provoking song ("Changes" or "Dear Mama"). Oh and he could kick your ass too ("Cant C Me" and "When We Ride On Our Enemies"). He might have gotten a little rowdy here and there, and definitely had his fair share of demons, but he had a good, just heart. Pac; rap game Batman.

Spiderman- Childish Gambino

In real life, Peter Parker is a nerd. Well, more than just being a nerd, he is sort of an outcast who was always "different" from everybody else. While he wasn't a total schlub, he just never really ran with the in crowd like that d-bag Eddie Brock. When he rocks the mask and skin-tight suit, though, Parker can kick some serious ass. He is also really smart and creative and uses his knowledge when on the field of battle more than any other superhero. If I had to pick one emcee to be Spiderman it would be Childish Gambino. He isn't a geek, but is definitely more of a backpacking nerd when compared to the "popular kids" like Jay-Z or A$AP Rocky. Like Spidey/Parker Gambino can still kick some serious ass and gets really creative on the mic. Because The Internet was a super unique, creative project and while he showed he can lay the smack down ("Sweatpants") he also showed an originality in battle ("Sweatpants") that is similar to Spiderman. Plus he was in the running to play the role in the new movie and that has to count for something right??

Superman- Brother Ali

This one was a struggle for me. Trying to find someone who is more powerful than a choo-choo train and faster than a Plaxico bullet but is also a man of honor and a man of the people is not easy. I tried thinking of some All-American beloved rapper that was also normal guy (Clark Kent) but nobody really fit. Finally, it came to me...Brother Ali! if you know anything about Ali you know that he is a defender of the little guy, voice of the voiceless, just where there is no justice. You also probably know that he has one of the strongest, most commanding flows in the game. When he raps he spits with the force of a thousand hurricanes and he might be a nice guy, but cross him or step on the little guy and he will unleash all hell. Like Superman, he uses his super human strength to make the world a better place. The only difference, a silly little piece Kryptonite wont Brother Ali down.

Catwoman- Rihanna

You know if you can get Batman caught up, you are crazy dangerous. Catwoman is one of those girls that you know you shouldn't mess with, but is just too intriguing to pass up; she'll have you wrapped around her finger and you wont care. She would totally sleep with you but you might end up in a tub full of ice with your spleen gone and your credit cards maxed out....and you'd probably take her out on a second date after... Rihanna seems like she is cut from the same cloth. She will kiss you, then kick your ass, then kiss you again so you forget all about the fact that she wants to kick your ass just because she can. There is just something about her; no matter how much your brain tells you not to, you kinda have to. That's exactly what Batman must feel like whenever Catwoman shows up to fuck his world all up.

So there you having, the starting line-up of RefinedHype's hip-hop Avengers. When these mic'd crusaders are on watch, hip-hop heads need not worry about the likes of the evil Soulja Boy, corrupting young minds with horrible dance moves, or Future, melting our minds and ears with his brain-piercing shrieking.  Ok enough comic book talk here. As always be sure to share your thoughts on rapper's superhero equivalent. Be careful about disagreeing though as it might make me angry. Don't make me angry… you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

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