This Is My Rifle: Racism Is Alive & Well in America

An interesting thing happened this past weekend. Last Friday (July 1st) was Canada day, Canada’s equivalent to Independence Day in the United States. A local bar in my neighborhood was having an outdoor patio party and so I set out that afternoon with the promise of drinking copious amounts of strong Canadian beer, taking in the sights of scantily clad young women and an all around great day in the sun. Upon my arrival, as I walked through the front door, I overheard an obnoxiously loud conversation between 2 drunken partiers who were exiting the building. From what I could understand, one friend was consoling the other about his recent break-up with his girlfriend who was in attendance at the event with her new man, and who also happened to be Black. As they walked off into the distance I heard him say, “I can’t believe she’s with a stupid fucking nigger”.

There is no other word in the English language that makes my blood boil like that one. Not because I feel any personal attachment to it, but because I know the pain that is associated with it. As I’ve gotten older and become more knowledgeable of the origins of North American culture, that one word has taken on a new meaning to me and stands out as the single most ugly piece of our history. There is no other word that completely encompasses the inhumane, violent and vicious hatred that our continent was built on.

I don’t believe that there is any way to take the sting out of the word either. As genius as a move as it was for the Black community to re-claim the word, replacing the “er” with an “a”, there is no way to successfully remove the brutality that lives within those 6 letters. A simple subtraction of one letter and addition of the other 2 destroys any attempt to turn the word into a term of endearment and takes it back to what it’s always been, an atomic bomb of racial antipathy.

I remember back when I was in first grade and one of my classmates called my friend Darren a nigger. Although neither of us understood the word, since we’d never heard it before, we both could feel the intense contempt that was being spewed in Darren’s direction. Later that day when I asked my mom what the word meant, she was absolutely appalled that a 5 year old child had even the slightest idea that word even existed. It was that day that I learned not only that I was an American Indian, but also that myself and Darren came from 2 groups of people who were disliked by a lot of the other groups and we should stick together.

As I grew up I had a hard time understanding why things were this way. I had always viewed people as individuals and judged them on the merits of their character, even before I knew I was perceiving them in this way. The hardest part of my childhood was having to deal with some of the ridicule I faced due to the race that I was being identified with, and in my teenage years I lashed out violently when I was approached in that manner. I became insecure and sometimes even afraid to tell people I was Indian for fear of their perception of me changing once I shared that part of myself with them.

I was lucky in that respect. Because I’m mixed, most people didn’t know what race I belonged to and so I rarely had to deal with immediate racism. The down side to this was that there were times where people would make a comment or a joke about Indians and I would silently sit by knowing that they were judging me as well. Looking back, one of my greatest regrets was not correcting them when I had an opportunity to do so. Despite my willingness to jump head first into conflict with anybody confident enough to push my buttons, it was this piece of myself that would cower because I didn’t know how to properly conquer their ignorance.

With that said, and after everything I’ve been through, I have never had to deal with what most of the Black community in North America has lived with. Black Canadians have had it a little easier than their American brothers and sisters but the pain of the underlying racism that exists to this day is the same across borders. We all know about the evils of slavery and the struggles of the civil rights movement (if you don’t, you seriously need to read some history books) but as much as we like to believe that we’ve beat racism, we haven’t. In fact, it’s just as strong as it’s ever been.

Sure, we have a Black president and yes, everybody likes at least a few Rap songs but the prejudice that had young Black men lynched for even looking at a White woman all those years ago is still alive and well. White America created clever, “politically correct” ways to address the racial divide but no matter how much you polish a piece of shit, it’s still a piece of shit. They pretended to be enraged by the presence of the “N word” but I can guarantee a large majority of them are perfectly comfortable using it within the confines of their homes. We removed racism from the visible aspects of society and took it home with us, and in doing so, we made it worse. Instead of expressing it out in the open where it could be addressed and corrected, it now privately festers and grows inside the hearts of our children.

In response to this, Black America has now taken back the power and is openly prejudice towards the White community, and out of “White guilt” they view this as being acceptable. It’s the White man’s way of saying, “I know. We fucked you over pretty bad. Go ahead and do what you gotta to get us back for it”. But fighting hate with hate does nothing to solve the problem, it only makes it worse. It creates resent which is then vented privately and results in 5-year-olds calling each other “cracker” and “nigger” on their school playgrounds.

Love is the only solution. Before we can look at one another and see a fellow human being rather than a member of an opposing group, we have to fix the issues within ourselves. We have to take an honest approach to our own prejudices and work to appreciate the differences, not just tolerate them. Tolerance is a band-aid that does absolutely nothing to heal the wounds that racism has caused. We have to start with a clean slate, no matter how impossible it may seem. We have to forgive each other for our past mistakes and indiscretions, accept it and move on. This is the only way that we can achieve a truly equal and altruistic society.

If not, we’ll always be destined to live out the titles that are forced upon us.

(Jason James is an artist, freelance columnist and writer for RefinedHype.com. You can listen/download his most recent album, "Marvelous World Of Color", here and you can contact him here and here.)