The All Crappy Album Spectacular

You know, I wanted to write with a lot of passion inside of me this week but then I got caught up in college football, the NFL and everything else under the sun that doesn’t deal with music. Felt a little relieved. Although a killer headache crept up on me and damn near derailed all of that, I managed to squeeze in some life on Sunday.

Then I realized: December hip-hop is when everybody wants a last squeeze out and labels are trying to clean out whatever previously scrapped and under promoted albums and put them on shelves just to appease their artists. I can’t name one album coming out in the next three weeks that deserves your $7.99. Think I’m joking? Look, Redman just released a mixtape that is better than his album. T.I. just rushed to put together an album because of his odd circumstances and it’s uneven as hell.

But Diddy’s "Last Train to Paris"?

Dear God.

You see, I’m one of the last few SNL fans left in the world. To watch the Vampire from Harlem & Them Two N*ggas Behind Him make me subsequently clock out and lose a little respect for Bobby Deniro in the process has soured me completely. Never in the history of me covering music have I least looked forward to an album being released. And I’m the same guy who wrote why Waka Flocka is misunderstood. (Note: that "Flockaveli" album is decent for its subject matter, same for P"ink Friday".)

I’m aware that it’s December and that Sean needs his six pairs of Jordans and just so happens to be using this album as a giant tax write off but this has got to be one of the most highly budgeted soon to be flops in the history of rap. Since it was announced sometime two years ago, only two singles from the thing “Hello, Good Morning” & “Loving You No More” have even made a dent.

I don’t know whether or not Diddy has legit fans for music (maybe the glory years and that’s it) but I can’t think of anyone with a grain of integrity who listens to music who wants this thing. I can’t think of any casual fan who wants to pick up Redman’s album when he gave us a perfectly acceptable mixtape earlier this week. Well, T.I. has a fan base of course but c’mon – have you really heard anything released from this album aside from “Welcome to the World” that has you hyped?

Cut and dry, nobody is going to be rushing towards their local big box retailer thinking everything is cool with these albums. And if anybody brings that Diddy album around a Christmas party I’m in attendance at – I’m leaving and throwing egg nog on the host.

Unless we show up to the Refined Hype party and create a mass steamrolling of that thing like they used to do rap albums in the 90s. But I doubt Nathan has the budget to buy that many crappy albums.