5 Ringtone Rappers I Knew Wouldn’t Last Posted by Nathan S. on 10/06/10 | Filed under Top Stories, Features

I spent a little time reading over Complex's list of "Ringtone Rap One-Hit Wonders" and felt inspired to go back to a time when everyone was bemoaning the death of hip-hop as ringtones dominated the industry (a.k.a. 2008). So I figured we might as well jump in our hip-hop time machine and take a look back at some rappers the ringtone era chewed up and spit out, from Jibbs to Hurricane Chris.

Jibbs "Chain Hang Low"


Over one million people heard this song and thought, yeah, that's exactly what I want to hear every time someone calls me. Sometimes I despair about the future of humanity. According to God Wikipedia the Jibbster has a new album in the works, but I can't imagine anyone cares. Poor guy, I bet Interscope paid him in ham sandwiches.

Shop Boyz - "Party Like a Rockstar"


Man, if RefinedHype was around when this came out you would have heard some rants that'd make my Bugatti Boyz shots seem loving in comparison. At the time all these articles came out about how the Shop Boyz were redefining the genre and ushering in a new era of rock-rap music. Yeah, no they weren't. They were a bunch of hacks who stumbled into a massive hit and then were never heard from again. Just so we're clear, fuck these guys and fuck this song.

Rocko “Umma Do Me”


For over a year the aforementioned Shop Boyz held the dubious honor of having the worst rated album in DJBooth history, until Rocko came along. God this is terrible. On the plus side, he did get to knock boots with Monica. On the downside, if you Google his name Rocko the cartoon wallaby from "Rocko's Modern Life" comes up first. Yep, that's about right.

2 Pistols ft. T-Pain "She Got It"


True story: I spent most of my review of 2 Pistol's debut album "Death Before Dishonor" calling him Dos Pistolas and ended with this line: "I’ve got a bad feeling that in a few months he’ll be happy if people refer to him as 2 Hits." Thank you, I'll be here all week, tip your waitress. Well, Mr. Pistols was not amused, and fired off a string of angry emails insisting I wasn't from the streets (true) and that he'd show me by dropping a bunch of hits (not even remotely true). Good times.

Hurricane Chris "Ay Bay Bay"


I have to admit, out of all the songs on this list "Ay Bay Bay" is my real guilty pleasure; that f-ing hook just won't get out of your heard. How about another true story? I thought Chris might just have an outside chance at a real career, but then I interviewed him. He'd clearly been coached by his publicist to mention his album's release date, coaching that he took a little too literally, so the interview went something like this:

Me: "Tell me more about your ratchet music movement? What defines ratchet music?"
Hurricane Chris: "October 16!"
Me: "Um, ok then."

And that's when I knew he was done for.

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