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This Shit Really Happened

A quick list of balls crazy shit Quamine Taylor said to police after he was arrested for breaking into Diddy’s Hampton mansion and attempting to live there:

“I really didn’t go to Diddy’s house because I’m a big fan of his. I just wanted to get out of the city for a while.”
“I got a good night’s sleep, but it’s not anything too special. It’s just like a three bedroom.”
“I was actually hoping to stay like 15 to 17 days.”
“I brought a cheesesteak, a cheesecake, a bucket of fried chicken - which I ate at the house - and drank a ‘dollar’ bottle of Hennessy and four cans of Pepsi.”
“I’ve actually been going to the house from time to time since 2001. I stay there a lot, but Sean gets funny sometimes about me staying there,”

And last but not least, “I’m Sean’s cousin,” said to the world’s worst security guard who came to investigate when the mansion’s alarm was tripped. The guard believed Taylor’s story and left.