Game 7 NBA Finals Preview, In Which I Mostly Talk S**t About Kobe

As a born and raised Bostonian currently living in L.A. I'm finding my thoughts continually turning to tonight's Game 7 matchup between my beloved Celtics and the Lakers. So instead of forcing you to read me make Celtics references throughout the day (Jeezy was bricking punchlines like Ray Allen bricked 3s in Game 4), I thought I'd try to get it all out in one post. What follows is a completely random smattering of unabashedly Celtics-biased thoughts.

Kobe's a D-Bag
Kobe is an incredible basketball player. While it looked like Lebron had finally supplanted him as the best in the NBA during the regular season, after Bron Bron melted down like butter on a hot skillet in the playoffs there's once again no question who the league's best baller is. Kobe's one of the all-time greats (though those who think he's better than Jordan are on crazy pills). Ok, so we've got that out of the way.

Now here's another unquestionable truth. Kobe is a complete d-bag, and he's having one of his d-baggiest Finals ever, giving reporters monotone, two word answers to every question and refusing to make eye contact or be involved in any pre-game celebration during introductions. You have to respect him, but there hasn't been a less likable athlete in our generation, which is why I find it hilarious when I listen to Lakers fans try to talk themselves into loving him. In their defense, it's got to be hard for the best player on your favorite team, a player whose won you multiple championships, to be such a dick, but stop pretending like he's not. Listen, Red Sox legend Ted Williams is beloved in Boston, but no one's pretending he was a good guy. He was a dick too. It's what made him great. We've accepted it, now isn't it time you did the same.

Fun Adam Morrison Facts
Lakers forward and constant bench presence Adam Morrison is one game away from having two more rings than he playoff minutes. Charles Barkley, Karl Malone and Reggie Miller just threw up in their mouths a little bit.

Is Marquis Daniels Made of Glass?
As long as we're talking about random bench players, in Game 5 of the Orlando Magic series Celtics forward Big Baby got crushed by a Dwight Howard elbow, was severely concussed and returned the next game. In that same game, Marquis Daniels ran into Rashard Lewis' chest and was also concussed, then proceeded to go on the injured list for the next 5 games! Concussions are not to be taken lightly, but jesus Marquis, I'm surprised you don't knock yourself out putting on a hat .

Lamar Odom Can't Handle Chant
Chants and crazy waving are rarely actually effective when it comes to distracting players during a free throw attempt, except in the case of Lamar Odom. After shooting 100% from the line in Game 2 in L.A., the series shifted to Boston, Celtics fans began chanting "Ugly Sister!" every time he got to the line (a reference to his wife Khloe Kardashian, who, to be fair, is the ugly sister relatively speaking), and Lamar proceeded to miss every free throw while the series was in Boston. Talk about getting in someone's head.

Lakers Fans Hate Paul Pierce
The level of vitriol Lakers fans have for Paul Pierce isn't really evident unless you live in L.A., so let me tell you, they motherf**king hate Paul Pierce, and is seems to all go back to Game 1 of the 2008 Finals when Pierce went down, grabbed his knee like he'd been shot by a sniper, was eventually brought back out onto the court in a wheelchair, and then proceeded to play the rest of the game. I'm not going to defend the move, it was obscenely overdramatic, but Lakers fans are irrationally obsessed with it. Bring up the "wheelchair game" to any Lakers fan and they'll absolutely lose their minds. It's like he punched Jerry West in the face, not faked an injury. Seriously, and Lakers fans out there, can you explain the obsession?

Shoot Ron Ron! Shoot!
Nothing good happened in Game 6. It was an embarrassing ass whooping for the Celtics in every regard, except I did manage to find one small light at the end of the tunnel - Ron Artest. Artest actually shot great that game, but history shows that game was a complete accident. Ron Ron's not only has shot 29% from 3 point range over the playoffs, but even Lakers fans collectively hold their breathes everytime he even remotely looks like he's considering a three. In all seriousness, I hope Ron's sitting at home right now thinking, "I'm a great shooter and my team needs me. I don't care how many times Kobe calls for the ball, I'm shooting." Shoot Ron Ron! Shoot!

Kobe Kiss Cam
Everytime Kobe has a good half or a good game he'll stop in the tunnel on his way to the locker room to kiss his wife and children (total d-bag photo op move), but when he's losing they're never anywhere to be found? What, he only loves his kids when he's winning?

Final Prediction
Hy head says this will be one of those games where the Celtics will trail by 10 at the half, pull within 4 in the fourth quarter, but ultimately no be able to close out. My heart says Celtics win by 8, and I always trust my heart. Go Celtics!

Who you got?