Dear Rappers: Stop Singing. Thanks. Posted by Nathan S. on 04/30/10 | Filed under Top Stories, Features

Over the last few hours, hours that prominently included the release of two new track from Drake ("Find Your Love") and Eminem ("Not Afraid") I've found myself in a bit of controversy surrounding my comments - hmmm....let's say "not complimenting" - both rappers' singing abilities. For instance, the homey Almost Forgotten asked "Why the hate on rap/singing?" in response to my Drizzy post. Why the hating? Why the hating! I'LL F**KING TELL YOU WHY!!!

Sorry, that was an overly dramatic bid to get readers attention. Hope it worked. Actually, I'd like to believe I can make a pretty rational and well thought out case for why rappers need to cut back on their Mariah-ish tendency to grab a mic and start crooning their hearts out (though I can't promise there won't be at least the occasional f bomb). Now, of course, not all rappers/singers, or as I like to call them ringers, are created equal, so let's explore the full range of the ringer spectrum via Kanye, Drake and Eminem.

Although he's begun to back off as of late, thank sweet baby jesus, about a year ago Kanye West was seemingly determined to use auto-tune like Amber Rose uses a Bic (meaning daily), and it's not hard to figure out why. Kanye can't sing. At all. Sure he can do that "it's bad but it kind of works" thing on hooks every so often, but there was simply no way he could carry an entire sung song without help; help that one day arrived in the form of the aforementioned auto-tune! Suddenly an entire musical world that was closed off to Kanye was suddenly wide open, and he understandably seized the opportunity to put out the legitimately dope "808s & Heartbreak".

Yes, "808s" was a good album, no doubt about it, but that album succeeded because of Kanye's stellar and adventurous production, his oversized personality and the aforementioned auto-tune, not because he of any singing talent. In other words, I won't begrudge Kanye the occasional sung hook, but moderation is key. Let's be real, "808s" aside, replace Kanye's hook on nearly any song with a real singer and the track would be better. It just would. What, you'd rather hear him warble his way through "All Falls Down" instead of Syleena Johnson? Yeah, I thought not.

Considering the "Find Your Love" link, it's only natural we segue into Drake next. Now Drake's a decidedly different case for two reasons. The first is artistic: there's simply no denying that he can, at the very least, sing passably, and he's certainly a hell of a lot better than Kanye (though that's not really saying much). And second? Drake has the opportunity to become one of the most popular and biggest selling artists of all time, and that's no exaggeration. Teenage girls love him and grown men respect him, a combination that's extraordinarily rare, which means I guarantee you the people at Universal/Young Money and his camp have had the following discussion: "If we can get Drake to sing that means we can get him to do some slow ballads, and if we can get him to do some slow ballads that means we can lock up both the rap and r&b markets! Imagine if Chris Brown could rap? That's the type of sales I'm talking about here people. Someone get Aubrey a vocal coach asap, and I don't want to hear back from the man until he can at least hit a couple notes on tune."

Mission accomplished, and for that reason I've really got nothing against Drake singing. It's not my cup of tea, but it's such an obviously smart move I'd be surprised if he didn't go for more tracks like "Find Your Love". However, I do want to sound one small note of caution. With all the hype surrounding Drake it's easy to get carried away, but take away all that hype and Drake is, at best, an average singer. If you had no idea who Drake was, if he was just some unknown singer trying to make it, you'd listen to his vocal performance on "Find Your Love" and come away completely unimpressed. You just would. So while it's impressive that Drake can sing this well, it's his peers lack of singing ability that makes him look good in comparison. Put Drizzy up against any "real" singer and he sounds amateur. That's not hate, that's reality.

Last and certainly least is Eminem. Here's where things get real easy. Em, I'm willing to say you're the best rapper alive. "Not Afraid" is an incredible track. But you can't sing. And in this case I don't mean that in a "so bad it's kind of good" kind of way, I mean in a just bad kind of way. Please stop. For the same mysterious reason you like to rap in that weird accent you seemingly like to sing, but neither work well. Seriously, it's distracting. I was completely immersed in "Not Afraid" until you hit that "holla if you feel like you've been down the same road" section and immediately thought, wow that was off-key, which I'm guessing wasn't what you were going for. And Eminem is far from alone, so we'll use him as a benchmark. Rappers, if you can't at least sing better than Em, and let's be honest you almost definitely can't, don't try. Just don't.

Let's close with an analogy. Your friends have been talking to you for months about this amazing new Italian restaurant you have to try. So you ask out this hot chick you've been chasing for months, make a reservation, and by the time you crack open the menu everything's going perfectly. Then the waiter comes up to your table and says, "I want to let you know that our chef isn't working today. So instead we pulled some guy off the street and put him in the kitchen, but don't worry, compared to other guys on the street he's actually really good!" Are you paying for that meal? Of course not. If I'm going to listen to someone sing, why wouldn't I want to hear the best singers?

So please, feel free to spend the rest of your day listening to Drake's singing skills, but while you are I'll be listening to Anthony Hamilton. Now there's a man who can sing...and never tries to rap.