Like athletes, despite having no shortage of funds and presumably access to some of the best tattoo artists in the country, rappers tend to have some terrible tattoos. Inspired by Birdman's recent decision to get a giant star inked on the top of his giant head (seriously, the man's got a big dome), here's a look at some of the worst ink related choices in hip-hop history.
Birdman's Head Star
First off, the face/head tattoo announces to the world that you're basically no longer interested in being a normal member of society, either because you're completely dysfunctional or you're so rich you don't give a f**k. Well Birdman fits the latter category with ease, though that doesn't really explain why he got a giant red and black star on his head (which, by the way, looks like a larger version of Starbury's own
head tat). If he wanted to make sure astronauts could see the top of his head from space, mission accomplished.
Game's L.A. Star
All you need to know about this one you can learn from DJ Z's
DJ Booth interview with Game, which touched on his LA star eye ink.
DJ Booth: Out the box, who has the better face tattoo, you or Mike Tyson?
The Game: I got Mike beat.
DJ Booth: Okay. If you and Mike are in the same room…
The Game: Mine’s just sort of big, and it’s subtle, but I think it fits me more than Mike – Mike’s is a little extreme.
DJ Booth: [laughter] It is. Would you ever consider something like that, or?
The Game: I would never.
DJ Booth: Okay, good.
The Game: I’m f*ckin’ way off, out of my mind, puttin’ this star under my eye.
DJ Booth: Well, we all make mistakes in our lives. I’m glad you turned it around into something that you like.
The Game: Yeah, I love stars – the star’s here to stay.
Well then...
Nick Cannon's "Mariah"
Any tattoo artist will tell you that it's bad luck to ink your wife or husband's name on you anywhere, let alone in giant letters across your back. Chances that he'll regret that tattoo in ten years when Mariah's looks start going downhill, or when she dumps him for some other young dude? 157 to 1.
Bow Wow's Scary Clown
Bow Wow's scary clown tattoo belongs in that category of ink I like to call "Why Jesus why?" Putting aside whether or not you think it looks cool, why would you possibly want to have a scary clown tattooed on you? Are you saying that you're also a scary clown? Were your parents killed by a clown serial killer and this is your tribute to their deaths? There's really no good reason to have this tattoo on you, at all, ever.
Rick Ross' Stomach Tattoo
First off, I love the fact that you can barely see the upper part of his giant stomach tattoo because his enormous man tits are flopping over it. Second, can anyone figure out what those faces are, and why the f**k he felt it necessary to have them on his body forever? I think I see the statue of liberty, someone who looks like a country singer and a white guy with facial hair that kind of looks like
Kenny Loggins. Good times.
Have a terrible rapper tattoo that I missed? Email me at nathan(@)refinedhype.com and let me know.
