The 2010 Grammy Nominees: Slightly Less Terrible Than Other Years

Greatest...Grammy...moment...ever

Every year it's the same thing. I watch the Grammys, spend the entire time swearing under my breath about how ridiculously wrong they are (I'm still mad about Puff Daddy over Wu-Tang), vow not to watch next year, and then inevitably get sucked back in.

I have to say, this year they did a little better than usual, meaning I don't have quite as much to complain about. And because I know a thousand people will comment on it, Kanye's "Dark Twisted Fantasy" was released too late to be included in any album categories. Let's review:

Album of the Year
Recovery – Eminem
Need You Now – Lady Antebellum
The Fame Monster – Lady Gaga
Teenage Dream – Katy Perry
The Suburbs – Arcade Fire
Looks like Eminem's our lone hope. Let's go Mr. Mathers!

Record of the Year
Love the Way You Lie – Eminem f. Rihanna
Nothin’ on You – B.o.B f. Bruno Mars
Empire State of Mind – Jay-Z f. Alicia Keys
Need You Now – Lady Antebellum
Fuck You – Cee-Lo Green
Not gonna happen, but I would fucking love if "Fuck You" won.

Song of the Year
Love the Way You Lie – Eminem f. Rihanna
Fuck You – Cee-Lo Green
The House That Built Me – Miranda Lambert
Beg, Steal or Borrow – Ray LaMontagne
Need You Now – Lady Antebellum
See above.

Best New Artist
Drake
Esperanza Spalding
Justin Bieber
Florence + the Machine
Mumford & Sons
I'll put money down right now that says the Biebs wins. B.o.B. didn't make the cut?

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance
Sara Bareilles – King of Anything
Beyonce – Halo
Norah Jones – Chasing Pirates
Lady Gaga – Bad Romance
Katy Perry – Teenage Dream
Whatever. Go Mrs. Jay-Z!

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance
Michael Bublé – Haven’t Met You Yet
Michael Jackson – This Is It
Adam Lambert – Whataya Want From Me
Bruno Mars – Just the Way You Are
John Mayer – Half of My Heart
Whatever. Go Bruno Mars!

Best Pop Collaboration With Vocals
Airplanes II — B.o.B f. Eminem & Hayley Williams
Imagine — Herbie Hancock, Pink, India.Arie, Seal, Konono No. 1, Jeff Beck & Oumou Sangare
If It Wasn’t For Bad — Elton John & Leon Russell
Telephone — Lady Gaga & Beyonce
California Gurls — Katy Perry f. Snoop Dogg
Of course I'm rooting for "Airplanes" like crazy, though they'll probably give it to Gaga just for the press.

Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals
Take My Time – Chris Brown & Tank
Love – Chuck Brown, Jill Scott & Marcus Miller
You’ve Got A Friend – Ronald Isley & Aretha Franklin
Shine – John Legend & The Roots
Soldier of Love – Sade
If Chris Brown wins I'm putting a remote control through my TV. Other than that, I'm good with all of these.

Best Contemporary R&B Album
Graffiti – Chris Brown
Untitled – R. Kelly
Transition – Ryan Leslie
The ArchAndroid – Janelle Monáe
Raymond v. Raymond – Usher
Seriously, the Grammy Committee must have asked their teenage daughters who to vote for. Even if you're pro-Chris Brown, there's no way "Graffiti" is one of the five best albums of the year. That's crazy talk. I feel like I'm on crazy pills.

Best Rap Solo Performance
Over – Drake
Not Afraid – Eminem
How Low – Ludacris
I’m Back – T.I.
POWER – Kanye West
I think we'd all love to see Kanye win this, if only for the acceptance speech. And I love Luda, but "How Low" has no business being in here.

Best Rap Performance By A Duo Or Group
Shutterbugg – Big Boi f. Cutty
Fancy – Drake f. T.I. & Swizz Beatz
On to the Next One – Jay-Z f. Swizz Beatz
My Chick Bad – Ludacris f. Nicki Minaj
Lose My Mind – Young Jeezy f. Plies
"Lose My Mind"? Really? Really??? I give up.

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
Nothin’ on You – B.o.B f. Bruno Mars
Deuces – Chris Brown f. Tyga & Kevin McCall
Love the Way You Lie – Eminem f. Rihanna
Empire State of Mind – Jay-Z f. Alicia Keys
Wake Up! Everybody – John Legend & The Roots f. Melanie Fiona & Common
Can't we just give the Grammy to Jay-Z now and move on?

Best Rap Song
Empire State Of Mind – Jay-Z f. Alicia Keys
Love the Way You Lie – Eminem f. Rihanna
Not Afraid – Eminem
Nothin’ on You – B.o.B f. Bruno Mars
On to the Next One — Jay-Z f. Swizz Beatz
See above.

Best Rap Album
The Adventures of Bobby Ray – B.o.B
Thank Me Later – Drake
Recovery – Eminem
The Blueprint 3 – Jay-Z
How I Got Over – The Roots
Solid line-up. Jay gets the nod under the "I'm the most important rapper in the game and I released an album" principle.