The news today was dominated by reports that two prominent celebrities has two high-profile run ins with the law, and while the two might at first not seem to have much in common, a closer look reveals that they're essentially mirror images of each other. Of course I'm talking about Shug Knight and Lindsay Lohan.
When I read reports that Shug Knight was
arrested in L.A. last night after allegedly threatening a man with a gun and the far less gangster crime driving without a license, my first thought was, "sweet baby jesus Shug. I'm not saying you should move to Amish country, but calm it down big fella." But then, upon further reflection, a question began to loom large in my mind: "Wait, why do we care about Shug Knight again?" There was, of course, a day when Shug was one of the most powerful men in hip-hop, and for us '80s babies memories of Shug's beefy arms draped around Pac may still loom large, but it's been - ready for this? - at least 13 years since the man's done anything significant. I quite frankly don't have nearly enough time to go into detail, but let's quickly recap Shug's life over the past few year: After peaking as the don of west coast rap, Tupac dies and Dr. Dre and Snoop leave Death Row, Shug goes to jail for four years, Death Row struggles financially, Shug goes back to jail, Shug files for bankruptcy, sells Death Row, an audit reveals he has $11 in his bank account, gets shot, gets knocked out, and then is arrested last night. (Note: I left out about 17 arrests to save space.)
That's right. He hasn't produced anything hip-hop related even remotely worth mention in over a decade. At this point he's just a big dude you don't want to f**k with, and yet the media's can't stop themselves from reporting on him like he still has some sort of power.
I won't delve into nearly as much detail with Lohan, but as a quick recap: in 2005 she's one of the biggest female stars in Hollywood thanks to both an acting and music career, Linday's hospitalized for "dehydration", Linday checks into rehab, DUI, rehab, DUI, cocaine arrest, rehab, becomes a lesbian (maybe),
today an arrest warrant is issued for probation violations. In other words, things haven't been going so well.
Both were legitimate stars at one point before run ins with the law, fueled by their own self-destructive behavior, crippled their careers. Both haven't made anything meaningful in years. Both are complete train wrecks of humanity at this point. Sure, Shug could literally eat Lohan, but they're really just two sides of the same coin. So what's my point? As pointless as I know it is, I'm calling for a complete media boycott of Shug/Lohan, or Shohan as I'm now calling them, until they actually do something in their respective fields. At this point it's just depressing, and while people may love to slow down and look at the car wreck, it really would be better for everyone involved if we just moved on. Stop. Just stop.
