Fails: From Harbaugh to Weezy, The Worst of Super Bowl XLVII Posted by Nathan S. on 02/04/13 | Filed under Humor, Sports, Fails, Super Bowl

(Not fucking awesome? The guy in charge of bleeping profanity for CBS.)

I know a thing or two about football, but you don't need RefinedHype to break down last night's Super Bowl. That's what ESPN/Deadspin/Grantland is for. But there is one thing I specialize in that might be of use in the aftermath of the Ravens' victory - Fails.

So with that in mind, from Lil Wayne to fan celebrations, I've thrown some of the low lights from Super Bowl XLVII. (Get it? "Low lights"? Nevermind).

Shining a Light on Terrible Announcing


I have to start with one of the weirder moments in Super Bowl history, the power outage. Now obviously the lights going off in the first place is a huge fail, but whatever, I don't know anything about how hard it is to power an entire stadium (and Beyonce show). I assume very hard. That shit happens.

The "aftermath" of the power outage was actually far worse. Or to put it more bluntly, it confirmed what we already knew: without the ability to hide behind actual football being played, the CBS announcers are apparently incapable of speaking in an interesting manner. Which, you know, is essentially their fucking job.

Announcers: "So...the power is still out, they're working to fix it. And, um, that means there's less light than usual. Um...let's go to our sideline reporters...."
Sideline Reporter: "I'm here on the sidelines where...the power is still out. And, um...that means there's less light than usual. Um...let's go back to the booth."

We were basically five minutes away from the Will Ferrell "Wake Up & Smile" skit.

Sweet baby jesus, can we just agree to hire Gus Johnson for every major sporting event so we don't have to deal with this shit ever again. Gus would shit this shit down.

Farewell Harbaugh Crazy Over Reaction Gifs


Football's now officially over, which kind of makes me shed a single tear, but the real shame is that I'm now going to have to wait months for a new Harbaugh insane over-reaction GIF. This one is pretty awesome, as is this one, but this one is still the all-time best in my book.

Goddamn, this man's priceless. He's like the real life Obama anger translator. So yeah, he may routinely fail to process emotion like a stable human being, but goddamn is he entertaining.

Look At Lil Wayne When You Apologize!!!


The lead up to the Super Bowl is filled with celebrity games that I HAVE NO IDEA WHY ANYONE WATCHES THIS SHIT. But at the very least Direct TV's celebrity event involved Lil Wayne losing his shit on a camera man.

For those of you who can't read lips, he's saying "“Look at me, motherfucker. Look at me when you apologize!”" It's a fantastic quote, and one I'll be using at the first available opportunity, along with "Fuck [fill in the blank] and anyone who loves 'em."

I may not care about his music anymore, but that man's a hilarious quote machine. Keep 'em coming Weezy.

Sign vs. Fan, Sign Wins


Attention citizens of Baltimore. If you're 200 pounds, a street sign's not going to hold you up. I would have thought that went without saying, but apparently not.

Tree vs. Fan, Tree Wins


UPDATE: That video's being a pain in the ass, so I replaced it with a Rosa Acosta pic (you're welcome). You can watch it here.

How about we close things out with one more fan fail. How the hell do you jump from a building into a tree successfully, and THEN fall out of the tree after you've landed. I think this calls for a "Cool Runnings" slow clap.

See Also:  Beyonce Solidifies Her Place In Halftime Show History With A Solid Super Bowl Performance (Video)