If you listen tot he radio it won’t take long before you hear a line so dumb it will make your head explode, but these past few weeks there have been three standouts: Kanye’s verse on Run This Town, akon’s chorus on “Sexy Bitch” and Lil Jon’s hook on “Shots.” All three are just absolute travesties, and if I had the power to have them banned from radio, China style, I would.
First up, Kanye’s verse on “Run This Town”
Not a great effort from Kanye all around, but what’s really killing me is the “And I’m beasting, of the Reisling” line. For anyone who doesn’t happen to frequent wine bars, Reisling is “an aromatic grape variety displaying flowery, almost perfumed, aromas as well as high acidity. It is used to make dry, semi-sweet, sweet and sparkling white wines.” In other words, it’s like liquid candy. Now you’d have to drink a couple bottles to get drunk on wine period, but Reisling? And beasting? After some complex mathematical equations I’ve determined it would take approximately a case of Resiling to get Kanye to said “beasting” point, by which time he would have thrown up long ago anyway.
Next, Akon’s chorus on “Sexy Bitch”
I’m not sure if this one is so much infuriating as it is unintentionally hilarious. First, I applaud Akon for even going through the trouble to try to “find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful.” His mother would be proud….except the respectful words he finds are “damn, you a sexy bitch”! It would have been far more accurate if the hook went, “I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful, but those words don’t exist in my vocabulary, so I’m just going to call her a bitch.” I know it’s not nearly as catchy, but it would have been far more accurate.
Lil Jon’s hook on “Shots”
I’m beginning to realize that I’m particularly sensitive to alcohol related lines. While getting mad at Lil Jon for saying something dumb is like getting mad at a puppy for peeing on the carpet, his hook on this still drives me insane. It shouldn’t be that hard, it really shouldn’t. All he’s doing is screaming different types of shots, but then he decides to scream “Lemon drops!” Lemon drops? Really Lil Jon? Who the f**k does lemon drop shots? That’d be like doing shots of a martini. Any actual alcoholic would never include a lemon drop in this list. I was fine with him drinking “crunk juice” from a gas can, but this is shows unforgivably bad taste in booze. Shame on you Lil Jon. Shame on you.
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